Yoga Pants: Gateway to Lust or Leisure?

I’ve become one of those women. The kind I never imagined I would.

A year ago, if you’d asked me if I owned anything by Lululemon, I would have told you I’d sworn off sweets. Today, I’d just admit that I wait for my daughters’ hand-me-downs.

So, yes, I’m now sporting yoga pants at the grocery, some restaurants, mani/pedi appointments, putzing around my house and anywhere else I can. And occasionally at yoga classes, which I’ve missed for the past four months.

I’ll own that my recent weight loss, thanks to my son’s recent wedding to the precious Amanda, (nothing like knowing people will be viewing your butt for the length of a church aisle to motivate you), made this wardrobe change much more comfortable.

IMG_0065It’s fortunate for me that we don’t live in Montana where a wingnut GOP lawmaker wants to arrest and jail women for wearing yoga pants. This bill by State Rep. David Moore, according to the article by Travis Gettys, would “outlaw any nipple exposure by men or women, along with any clothing that “gives the appearance or simulates” the buttocks, genitals, pelvic area, or female nipple.”

Kim Kardashian West, Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj and  JLo–to name just a few–need to be damn careful crossing the state line into Montana.

And I have to wonder if perhaps there’s something Freudian about his use of the word “simulate,” which is just a keystroke away from “stimulate.”

Clearly, this man needs to be duct-taped into a chair while someone blasts Meghan Trainor’s “All About that Bass” for a few hours.

So, I suppose he thinks one should change into yoga pants at the studio so as not to be seen in public? Is there not enough going on in Montana that a lawmaker has time to think of this crap? This in the state where just last year, a prosecutor allegedly told the mother of a five-year-old girl sexually assaulted by a teenager that “boys will be boys.”

Then again, last year Veronica Partridge wrote a blog post about why she chose to not wear yoga pants in public (because they cause men to look at women wearing them in a way they should only be looking at their wives). I assume then, her husband, if he takes yoga, is in a males-only class; otherwise, he’d have to stay in a downward dog pose the entire time. I’m not sure if this family has their own private pool because swimming at a public beach must be taboo. Because it seems our responsibility as women is to protect men from their brains.

One (satiric) response to that post was written by someone named L.P. who begged her brothers in Christ to stop wearing suits because they were becoming a stumbling block for her.

If you truly cared about my desire to live holy, you would take into consideration how your clothing (and how sexy you look in it) may be a potential stumbling block for me. Have you considered maybe wearing a suit that is too large for you? Perhaps that hideous tie in your (or your dad’s) closet from the 70s? Do you have any plaid? – See more at:

Here’s my disclaimer: If you see me schlepping around in my yoga pants, please know that I’m not trying to seduce your husband. And if he’s looking at me in the way he should be looking at you, then you need to punch him in his brain, which is located behind the zipper of his pants.







6 replies
  1. lol
    lol says:

    “outlaw any nipple exposure by men or women”
    “I’m not sure why the male nipple isn’t included in his definition of indecent exposure” – See above.
    I am not sure how you can write something and not even know what you wrote.

  2. Jack C.
    Jack C. says:

    If women could be men for a day they’d understand that yoga pants are a tease at best and decadent at worst (depends on the shape of the wearer).

    Most women lack mens’ primal reactionary instinct, so it’s easy for them to change the subject with words like “comfortable.”

  3. katty
    katty says:

    If women may be the man for one day we acknowledge that yoga pants are at best a taunt or at worst depraved (depends on the shape of the wearer).

    Most women have no primary defensive impulse in men and so, with terms including “comfortable,” it is simple for any of them to avoid the topic.


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