Today is National Coming Out Day, and I intended to write a post about its significance because I am the sister of a gay brother, and because my second novel, The Edge of Grace, is partially based on our experiences.
In looking for a picture to use with the post, I tripped across the one you see above. It brought me to Canyonwalker Connections, an I-58 mission by Kathy, who states on her site her mission is: “Loosen the chains of injustice, untie the cords of the yoke, set the oppressed free and break every yoke. Then you will be called Repairer of the Breach.” Isaiah 58. To educate and create dialogue between the Christian Church and the glbt Christian community.”
In thinking about the idea of “coming out,” it occurred to me that not only is the closet not limited to gender as in gays, lesbians, transsexuals and bisexuals; it’s crowded with straight people too. Only they’re closeted in their racism, discrimination, prejudice.
For example, the ones who look around and, not seeing faces of color, begin telling jokes about people of other races or religions. As the wife of a Jewish husband, whose daughter’s husband is black, you’d be amazed (or maybe, sadly, not) at what I hear from people who do not know my family. Pillars of the community on the outside, but their mortar is crumbling on the inside.
People with alcohol, drug, gambling and other addictions are smashed into the closet as well. Doing their best to maintain the facade of “Biff and Buffy” with all their friends and family, they hope the closet door doesn’t have a window.
And, smashed in the closet are straight Christians as well. I’m not just talking about the ones who secretly watch The Ellen DeGeneres Show or The Nate Berkus Show. There are Christians who struggle with all sorts of issues who fear revealing the dysfunction in their own families. And sharing that closet are Christians who tell me things like, “You know, my (insert name of family member) is gay, and I’m okay with it, but….”
Kathy is clearly a brilliant woman because she read my mind about the post I intended to write today, only she wrote it a year ago. In her post, “I’m Coming out as an Ally for GLBT Christians,” Karen writes:
“Yes, I run into closeted Christians all the time. And no, they are not gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. They are straight, like me. But, they love their GLBT friends and family and are coming to a realization that what they’ve been told or thought they understood may not be the heart of God. They see honor, integrity and even Jesus and the Holy Spirit in their GLBT friends. Evidenced in the very same group they have been told cannot possible be Christian because they are queer. In some churches, it is not safe to even ask questions about homosexuality, about any thing. So, how can they dare openly dialogue about this issue, this hot button topic in most Christian congregations?”
I’ve paid a price for writing The Edge of Grace, especially because it’s published under a Christian publisher’s imprint. There are those Christians who have not confronted me or my publisher directly, only in thinly veiled references to my novel, suggesting any critical acclaim for it came from sycophantic Christians. Some who would be content if my Christian baptism could be retroactive. I know my novel brings up questions, and I never claimed to be an authority on psychology or theology. I’m a storyteller, and I know my experiences and my characters’ experiences. I believe Jesus called us to love. Period.
As Karen so aptly stated: “Is there a cost to coming out as affirming? Yes, there can be. Most likely not as extreme as my upfront price. You may get labeled as ; heretic, unbeliever, unrepentant, tool of Satan, words I don’t say or write (and that is by Christians!), lesbian, “at minimal” bisexual or gay. People will argue with you over non-related topics because surely you must now be misguided, stupid and have never studied the Scriptures. Others will unfriend you, unfollow you, unlike you. All because you think Jesus was telling the truth when He said to love your neighbors unconditionally and that “whosoever” really does mean whosoever.”
I encourage you to read the rest of her post HERE.
Overwhelming though, I’ve also been blessed, even by those who may not agree with the message of the book, but who respect the relationship my brother and I share, and who acknowledge that it gave them cause to consider “the other side” as it were.
I hope in 2013, we can look at National Coming Out day as one that gives us pause and cause to consider what we’re holding on to that we fear may cause us to be judged by others.
What closet do you need to come out of?
