I was almost late for hall duty at school this morning because I needed to take a sinus pill, but had to find a jackhammer, an electric saw, and a two-year-old to open the package. If the people who package those pills could figure out a way to wrap the United States, we’d be safe from terrorists for eternity.

One would think that pharmaceutical companies would benefit by consumers actually taking the medication so as to deplete their supply and, thus, run to purchase more. It’s possible, though, that there is an ulterior motive. When the pill is finally freed from its maximum security plastic prison, the person liberating it needs either a tranquilizer from the frenzy and/or an antibiotic in the event s/he was injured in the attempt. Surely, Viagra is not packaged this way.