[NOTE: THIS IS NOT THE "HAPPY NEWS" STORY YOU'VE BEEN WAITING TO READ!]I check in with msn.com and nola.com in the mornings, mostly to scan headlines and bookmark pages to read when I’m creatively procrastinating grading and/or writing.

 Yesterday, I saw two headlines under the “Health” category on msn.com, and I resisted the urge to mention them here.Then, this morning, there they were again. Daring me to make public my warped logic. 

Okay, I succumb to the temptation.  One headline announced that the quality and count of male sperm declined as daily cell phone use increased. The other headline referenced increased teen pregnancy. How is this? I’ve seen how much time teens spend on the cell phone.