Christa Allan

As of Wednesday afternoon, this is the five-day forecast for Hurricane Gustav. Perhaps, by the time you read this on Thursday, the forecast line will have shifted. Or not.

If you look at the state of Louisiana, you’ll see a tiny circle of water near the toe. I live directly above that circle.

Am I dealing with post-Katrina-stress-syndrome?

Like you wouldn’t believe.

Yesterday, Ken and I were in the grocery–a trip we’d planned even before Gustav decided to be difficult–and I could feel the ripples of panic. Even though bread and water were still on the shelves, all it would have taken would have been one cart stocked with hurricane supplies to start the frenzy.

I downloaded the “Emergency Preparedness Kit Checklist” from the website set up by the new governor’s office (www.getagameplan.org). Kudos to Gov. Jindal for the foresight, but someone left TOILET PAPER off the list.  Some of the items are curious…like tape. If flying debris comes through any of our windows, tape’s just not going to matter.  We opt not to board our windows because we have twelve of them across the back of our house alone. I don’t want to wait out a hurricane feeling as if I’m in a ginormous coffin. Plus, if there’s a tree falling, I want to know which direction NOT to run in.

We happen to live in an area 100′ above sea level. Flooding isn’t the issue. It’s being surrounded by pine trees, wind damage, and the resulting weeks of no electricity. We stayed for Katrina.  An experience I said I’d not repeat.

Now I’m not so sure. The notion of moving at the speed of three miles per hour for 350 miles, trapped in the contra-flow with other post-K survivors makes watching 150 mph winds whip around your house seem like a Universal Studios ride.

But here’s what I love about my state. The first LSU game is Saturday at four in the afternoon. The game will go on. The contra-flow will work around it.

We have our priorities, you know. The Tigers are, after all, trying for a third National Championship.

Forays
Find the clued answers. Each answer contains four A’s.

__________ 1. U.S. State
__________ 2. peace of mind
__________ 3. close fitting head cover
__________ 4. triangular stringed instrument
__________ 5. two-hulled sailboat
__________ 6. spicy Creole dish
__________ 7. join together into a whole
__________ 8. Hindu prince
__________ 9. miscellaneous articles
__________ 10. languorous

Thanks to HoadWorks for giving permission for this Word Game. Click here for the answers.

I’m featured at BLOG NOSH today! Click on the BUTTON to your right. If you’ve not discovered this site, plan to spend some time there. It’s a nosher’s dream!

NOPD PHOTO

The New Orleans Police Department is seeking the public’s assistance in the identification of an unknown male, wanted in connection with vandalizing one of city’s crime cameras.

The bare-chested man climbed the ladder with a can of spray paint in his hand, and looked straight up into the crime camera lens. Police say he then proceeded to disable it.

As a writer, I sometimes live disconnected from the world my body actually inhabits.  I watch people,  notice their gestures, analyze how they sit or perch on a chair, assess how they dress, listen to their conversations.  I’ve learned to dig into the belly of my purse for my notebook and write these observations because, otherwise, they’ll be fuzzy-edged memories. Other times, characters are moving about in my head, talking to one another or to me.

Writing splits me in half. No, maybe even not half.  It makes me two people. My writer-person and my world-person struggle to inhabit my body simultaneously.

When I was struggling to finish my novel, I’d feel frozen until I could sit at my laptop and become Leah.  To feel her life unfold in me, so I could release her and let her thoughts flow out of my fingers tips. Let her press the keys on the keyboard without too much thought. Not thoughtless, though. What I mean is, I couldn’t permit my world-self to step in and critique her thoughts. I had to allow her to exist in me so she could tell her story.

By the early morning, I’d feel emotionally exhausted. Not from the writing, but from the being. From being a vessel that could contain this woman’s story and have to open myself to her life.

It was only then that world-person could fall into bed and sleep. Dreaming, of course, of the next chapter.

Along with the predictable issues involved in acclimating to a new school year–waking up early, talking for six hours a day, standing for six hours a day, retraining my bladder to the bell schedule, remembering the fine art of standing for a thirty minute duty outside while eating a hot meal and drinking a lukewarm Coke Zero–I inevitably experience THE WARDROBE CRISIS.

Most of it is my own fault. At least that’s the conclusion of Carrie, one of my dearest friends both in and out of my teaching universe. She most always selects her ensemble the night before, irons it (I’m thinking that’s a Southern woman thing?), then places her shoes and jewelry nearby. She slips into bed for a restful slumber, and she wakes up with one less frightful decision.

I blame my thighs. They’re so confrontational. Perhaps it’s because they’re protesting being depositories for the Blue Bell ice cream that’s lately become a nightly ritual. Really, if they’d just tighten up, the other half of my closet would suddenly become available. Of course, Carrie’s thighs are cooperative because they know she’s going to punish them in spin class three days a week. The closest mine ever get to “spin” is when I’m standing near the washing machine.

With Labor Day bearing down on us, I’m frantic to exhaust my summer clothes before then. Heaven forbid we Southern women wear white after Labor Day. Even though the weather from September through January ranges from slightly humid with thunderstorms to morbidly humid with torrential storms and hurricane-force winds, no respectable Louisiana woman would venture outside in anything but winter white.

I try on clothes most mornings like the lipsuction fairy visited me overnight. Tuesday, the pants were a bit too friendly. Wednesday, I pull them on again. Shocker…they’re still too acquainted with my body parts. It’s such a delicate balance, this wardrobing for school.  Comfortable is forever important, but so is not looking as if I found a remnant sale at the linen tent factory. There’s also the neckline problem since bending at the waist to help students sitting in their desks is a consideration.

And, since I’ve been on a diet since 1992, losing on average, an ounce every other week, I’m waiting to reach my goal weight before dropping a bundle on new clothes. But after reading an article in the New York Times, I’m painfully aware of how high I am on the fashion police’s most wanted list. Actually, based on what it costs to be truly fashionable, I’d be on the most wanted list anyway because I’d have to be a career criminal to afford the clothes.

For instance, this ensemble is a bargain at only $3,467 (blazer $1,195; mini dress $346; platform heels $1,115; brooch $495; necklaces $316).  Compared to $4,900 for an all-over sequined dress the writer found, you’d have money left over to buy another pair of platform heels and a new necklace. Also fortunate is that there are bargains to be had in silk crepe blouses; the more affordable ones are priced at $495 to $695.

Hemlines this fall, “flutter around the knee.” [Someone in the fashion industry has redefined one or more of the following words: flutter, around or knee.]

My mundane, pedestrian wardrobe challenges have been reduced to woefully and pathetically insignificant.

In order to make sense of the letters below, you need to add a letter at the start of the expression, divide the string of letters, and insert the same letter again. The result will be an alliterative familiar phrase of two words.

Take “eachall” an example, add a ‘b’ before the ‘e’, divide the expression between the ‘h’ and ‘a’ and add the ‘b’ again. The result is BEACH BALL.

See if you can turn fifteen double plays.

1. uelilter
2. liveil
3. umboet
4. alicoat
5. eadbeatad
6. obinedbreast
7. eavyitter
8. ndeliblenk
9. sthmattack
10. udiomplifier

MORE HERE AND THE ANSWERS!

with thanks to Bud the Teacher for reminding me how much I missed Taylor Mali’s poetry

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” Galations 2:20

Die to myself?

No, not me. My “self” is on life support, and I continue to stubbornly refuse to pull the plug. During a crucifixion moment, I need to be DNR. I need to choose to ignore the cures the world offers. I need to think of those times as more than crossroads or defining moments. To know they’re crucifixion moments, and to know that I’ve chosen to walk away, sickens me.

What would I gain in life eternal to have been given any honor, praise, or satisfaction on earth? And what would I face in eternity knowing I abandoned Jesus to have it?

My flesh tells me I don’t always know how to die to self. But my spirit tells me this is a lie; a lie promoted by the evil one. The one who would want to stand between me and a closer relationship with the Lord.

I make conscious choices.

I can chose–anytime–to die to myself.

WINNER OF THE 2008 BULWER-LYTTON FICTION CONTEST.……

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped “Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.”

Garrison Spik
Washington, D.C.

From their site:

The winner of 2008 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is Garrison Spik (pronounced “speak”), a 41-year-old communications director and writer from Washington, D.C. Hailing from Moon Township, Pennsylvania, he has worked in Tokyo, Bucharest, and Nitro, West Virginia, and cites DEVO, Nathaniel Hawthorne, B horror films, and historiography as major life influences.Garrison Spik is the 26th grand prize winner of the contest that began at San Jose State University in 1982.

An international literary parody contest, the competition honors the memory (if not the reputation) of Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873). The goal of the contest is childishly simple: entrants are challenged to submit bad opening sentences to imaginary novels. Although best known for “The Last Days of Pompeii” (1834), which has been made into a movie three times, originating the expression “the pen is mightier than the sword,” and phrases like “the great unwashed” and “the almighty dollar,” Bulwer-Lytton opened his novel Paul Clifford (1830) with the immortal words that the “Peanuts” beagle Snoopy plagiarized for years, “It was a dark and stormy night.”

READ THE RUNNERS-UP AND OTHER DISHONORABLE MENTIONS HERE

with thanks to Marcus Goodyear for the heads up!

NOTE FROM CHRISTA: Word Game Wednesday bumped to Thursday. Son’s birthday yesterday trumped!

A Stampede of Carniverbs

Provide the animal-verb which best matches the definition of each of the following. Some animals/verbs are used twice. Good luck! Don’t louse up! Thanks to Rex Stocklin for helping to corral some of the beasts…The number refers to the number of letters in the word.

1. to score two under-par on a golf hole [5]
2. to outwit by cunning [3]
3. complain [6]
4. to defraud by cheating or swindling [4]
5. to strike with great force; move quickly [3]
6. to advance a baserunner [3]
7. to harass or annoy persistently [6]
8. to offer for sale by calling out in the street [4]
9. show off [7]
10. to give way; falter; recoil in fear [5]
11. to become silent [4 + up]
12. to give birth to; to produce as yield [4]
13. to extend like the spokes of a bicycle wheel [3]
14. equivocate; to evade an obligation [6 + out]
15. to chatter [3]
16. engage in sycophancy [4 + y]
17. to show affection; to court favor by flattery [4]
18. to eat greedily; devour [4]
19. to eat greedily [3 + out]
20. to stand or move with legs and arms extended [spread + 5]
21. to foul up; snarl [5 + up]
22. deceive; take advantage of [4]
23. spy on [4]
24. to store away for future use [8 + away]
25. to make secure against leakage or passage [4]

Word games will be provided with the generous permission of Adrian Hoad-Reddick who granted me permission to use games from his extensive website hoadworks, inc. Here is some info about this amazing word-wizard from his site:

What happens when you combine a word junkie with a computer enthusiast? You get Adrian Hoad-Reddick. Adrian is a teacher, webmaster, writer, radio host, the owner of his own Internet consulting company and the creator of several interactive websites that promote reading and writing, including an online school for aspiring writers. Beyond all this, his passion for the written word is evident in his infectious sense of humour.

Adrian received a Master of Education degree specializing in Computer Applications in Education from the University of Toronto (OISE) and he has had over twenty years of teaching experience in four independent schools. Adrian is currently Director of Academics and Linamar Chair of Project Development at an independent school in the heart of Canada’s Technology Triangle; however, these are only a few of the many roles that keep this industrious creator busy.

Adrian loves to write and to inspire young writers. He enjoys writing poetry, e.e. cummings being one of his favourite poets. “I sit down to write prose and poetry comes out,” he says wryly.

The Poem Repair Shop is the title of his novel-in-progress. It is set in Elora (or its fictional equivalent) and chronicles the story of a bookstore and its three owners. Poemrepairshop.com is also the online headquarters for Adrian’s creative writing course at St. John’s-Kilmarnock School. Adrian is committed to promoting creativity and literacy and this is one of the ways in which he encourages young people to engage in writing. Adrian also hosts a weekly live literary radio show with his students, named–you guessed it– The Poem Repair Shop. Tune in Thursday nights at 9 on CFRU 93.3 Guelph or via web at cfru.ca. Adrian is creative consultant to What If? Canada’s Creativity Magazine for Teens.

Adrian is the creator of Bookhooks.com. This website aspires to be the best online bookreporting website in the world! The site, which is ad-free, is supported by the Canadian publishers Orca Books, Maple Tree Press and Raincoast Books and it strives to promote Canadian authors and books. “It is a free book report tool kit that gives students from K-12 the opportunity to publish their own literary commentary,” according to Adrian. Bookhooks.com has received over 5600 book reviews from children all over the world, including Australia and Israel, over thirty states in the U.S., and from across Canada.

My baby is on the right planting a kiss on my granddaughter Hannah.

John is 23 today. My mother, not long after we announced I was pregnant, informed me I’d have a boy who’d look like Erin (his sister). I did, and he does. He’s named after my father, and I only wish that my dad could still be here to appreciate how much his grandson shares his personality.  I’m certain, though, that he and my mom have been watching him, from their heavenly vantage point, as he’s grown.

Like his older brother, he arrived nine days after his due date. He weighed 9 pounds, 15 ounces. If he’d been my first, he might have been an only child…

When I brought John home, Michael was eight, Erin was five, and the twins were two. I laugh when I hear young moms obsess over their babies’ feeding and sleeping schedules. John, my father used to say, should have been born with velcro on his back because “you’re taking the poor baby in and out the car so much, it’s be a lot easier than that car seat you keep strapping him into.”  John’s “schedule” the first years of his life was determined by his siblings school schedules and extracurriculars, which meant he slept and ate in the car.

We’d be tearing up and down the roads, picking up one kid, dropping off another, and I’d look in my rear view mirror, call his name, and he’d delight me with a wide, shiny-eyed smile. As the youngest of five, he’s my most accommodating child–sometimes to a fault–placing his needs behind those of his siblings. Though he’d probably not want me to advertise this, he’s also my most sensitive child, but that makes him all the more like my father. Like my father, he loves children. He’s smitten with his nieces, and they adore him.

He’s fiercely independent, and he manages to pull himself through his challenges without whining and without blaming. John will graduate from L.S.U. this fall. I’m proud of everything he’s done to make that happen.

Happy Birthday, John!