Written while wearing my “teacher” hat, I’ve listed several suggestions [in no particular order] for parents of high school students…

1. Some kids think whatever they wear the first day of school will mark them for high school life. Probably not, but unless Princess wants to wear spike heels and a tube top and Prince has chosen drop-butt jeans, allow them this wardrobe decision. Feeling good about themselves that day is important.

2. Students at our high school do not wear uniforms. Pity. The beginning of the school year is B-quadrupled (boobs, butts, and belly buttons). Please be aware of your high school’s dress code, and-not that I would ever question your child’s integrity-you can always check the school/parish/county website online for validation.

Some of the regulations may seem silly to you; I may even agree. I don’t think Larry Low Pants learns more when he’s wearing a belt. Do you know WHY I think this? Glad you asked. Because if Larry Low Pants was actually already interested in learning, he’d already be wearing a belt because he follows instructions and does not want to lose valuable class time sitting in the discipline office waiting for his parental unit to drop off clothes. And notice this isn’t an issue of Larry’s IQ; it’s his I WILL.

One of our rules is that skirts and shorts (for girls) have to be fingertip length. I’m waiting for a few Princesses to undergo elbow-ectomies so they can wear shorts that would fit my three-year-old granddaughter. Seriously, I see these girls bend over. It’s not pretty.

Every year I tell students who don’t like the dress code to stop whining and volunteer to be on the student committee for dress codes and/or run for a Student Council office and effect change. You might want to suggest this if your student is unhappy about clothing regulations.

3. Attend the school Open House. If your student claims to have absolutely no recollection of advance notice of this event, call the school. Get the date. Go. At one time I had five children attending four different schools. Plus, I had to attend my own Open House as teacher. An exhausting school year. I know it’s difficult after a long day at work to drag yourself out and parade through your child’s school schedule or however it’s conducted in your universe. Please do it anyway.

It’s not a night to find out Paul Procrastination’s every quiz grade. It’s an opportunity for you to be in your student’s world, sit in her desk, and look over the classroom and the teachers. I do understand that circumstances may hinder your participation. If they do, let your student’s teacher know that.  When kids and teachers know you care, it makes a difference. Two years ago, I saw two parents the entire night. I taught 130 students.

4. Do you know the eight busiest days for the library copy machine? The day progress reports and report cards are issued. I’m just saying….

5. Schools issue report cards….they are hardly ever lost, issued to the wrong student, delayed because of computer glitches, mailed to the wrong house….I know some of these could happen. But not every grading period, and not always to your student.

6. If your student comes home with tales of woe about his teacher being mean and hateful, refusing to teach, always giving too much homework…smile. Then please call or email the teacher before going over his/her head to administrators.  Are there times when these complaints are valid? I’m sure; every profession has its share of people who did not attend school on career day and, consequently, chose the wrong one. But, again, it’s unlikely that your student was selected for this particular torture, and six of her seven teachers are waiting for their prison guard applications to be approved.

And when you do call or email the teacher, being nice goes a long way. Since email as become a communication tool, I’ve received some of the most vitriolic venom from parents, and usually it’s their first communication with me. They’ve disparaged me as a teacher, as a person, questioned my professionalism, my standards, and my integrity. I’ve been held responsible for a student’s hair falling out from stress, having to go into therapy, and staying awake over 24 hours to finish a project [not all the same student].

If you wouldn’t say it to the teacher personally, don’t say it in an email. And if you want to call the teacher, please attempt to do so during school hours. I’ve had phone calls at 10:30 at night, during supper, and on Saturdays. If we’d mutually agreed on this time, no problem. If not, problem. Also, if the teacher did not distribute his/her personal phone number, do not call another teacher or someone you know who’s friends with the teacher for the phone number.

It’s important for your student, when s/he complains of unfairness, to witness you making an effort to hear both sides. Schedule a conference with the teacher, but be sure to have Sally Sigher sitting there with you. It eliminates he said/she said conferences, and it helps the student understand the concept of problem ownership.

7. The stereotypical after-school conversation:

“Hi, darling. How was school?”

“Okay.”

“What did you do today?”

“Nothin’.”

“Do you have homework?”

[insert mumbling here]

Since I’ve sat on both side of the desk, I’ve had this enthralling conversation with my own children. Don’t be afraid to dig a little. Sometimes they need time to unwind from their school day just like adults unwind from their work day. Maybe the first ten minutes they’re home isn’t prime time for this conversation. But try again later. Ask to see any handouts they received that day, look at what they’re reading in class. Talk about what they’re learning, not as a means of testing them, but as a way to engage them in conversation. What did they hear that day that surprised or annoyed or confused them? Did they laugh that day?

8. Encourage your students to join a club or clubs. Activities aren’t limited to those with athletic ability. Our clubs range from Paint Ball to Archery to Agape to Student Council plus another fifteen or so. Club memberships offer opportunities for students to be involved in school beyond academics. It also provides students chances to meet people they may never see during the course of their regular school day. And having club memberships and office prove important when completing those college applications.

9. Just because Connie Computer spends three to four hours every night “on” the computer, doesn’t necessarily mean she’s completing school work on the computer. More than likely it’s 2.75 hours of IM, and fifteen minutes of homework.  Many of my students spend more time IM-ing one another about the assignment than they spend actually completing it.

Once again, I droned on much more than I’d intended. I have more to share about this, but the night is almost morning.

Do you have any questions?