1. Is this going to be on the test? Translation=If it is, I’m listening; if not, I’ll just pretend to listen while I zone out about wanting to marry Johnny Depp and/or what to wear to Prom.
2. Is this long enough? Translation=I’m tired of writing this paper, so is this the minimal effort I can expend for a maximum payoff?
3. Can’t you just tell us the answer? Translation=it’s so much faster when you tell us the answer, then class might end early, then I can have time to continue my wedding details with Johnny Depp and ask Sally what she’s wearing to Prom.
4. Are you taking off for spelling? Translation=I’d rather not have to piddle with using a dictionary.
5. I turned that in. Did you lose it? Translation=It’s buried under piles of crusty sandwiches, crumpled paper, and dirty gym clothes in my backpack. I don’t want to look for it.
6. Why can’t you be like other teachers? Translation=You expect us to think. We like regurgitating information on worksheets.
7. You knew what I meant. Why did you take points off on this answer? Translation=I made every attempt to provide quality vagueness, and I think that alone should be rewarded.
That last one cracks me up. We used to do that all the time! It’s funny though, it didn’t work when I got to AP English. I had a crusty old Ukrainian for a teacher who really should have been a college professor, and I swore he hated me.
He ripped me apart in red pen once for misusing “sated” (instead of satiated). C’mon, to a high schooler… same basic idea, right? Nope, totally different word and I should have known better.
Looking back, I wish all my teachers had been like him.
Comment by Natalie Jost — April 11, 2008 @ 2:37 pm
I taught AP English for 10 years; in fact, I go to Daytona to score AP Language exams (I’m such a nerd).
My students would say I’m the American female version of your teacher!
Comment by christa — April 11, 2008 @ 3:50 pm
Okay, that was definitely hilarious. For some reason, I think about your seventh hour back in L.C. when reading this post.
Comment by Samuel Congiundi — April 12, 2008 @ 9:00 pm
This is a scream!!!!!!
Camy
Comment by Camy Tang — April 13, 2008 @ 9:40 pm
[...] weeks ago I was reading a post from my friend (and now favorite HS English teacher), Christa about what students aren’t asking and I recalled my high school AP English teacher professor. The last item on her [...]
Pingback by Standards for Life by Natalie Jost » Foul Language — April 24, 2008 @ 9:23 am
That last one made me laugh. At my very last final ever (okay, it was last month, but I’ve finally graduated grad school), I was the first student done. It was an easy class, and I was merely doing what was required to pass the class. My prof called me back up after I turned it in and asked me to add more to the first essay question. I had already given all I knew, and told him so. If he was willing to give me extra points for BS, I didn’t want them! (That said, I ended up with an A+ in the class anyway…)
Comment by Ronnica — January 14, 2009 @ 3:20 pm