Ginormous federal bailouts, Nancy Reagan’s broken pelvis, Somali pirates, Guy and Madonna divorcing, David and Tea separating, AIG spending close to $550,000 for a resort retreat and a hunting trip after they’d received BILLIONS in taxpayer-funded loans, and now this?

According to MSNBC:

Douglas County District Court Judge Marlon Polk has thrown out a Nebraska legislator’s lawsuit against God. Yep, that’s right. God.

Well, of course, you say. How d-u-m-b to file a lawsuit against the Almighty Arbiter of Justice. But so not the reason.

Polk said that God has an unlisted home address, so the Almighty wasn’t “properly served.”

And what brilliant individual filed this lawsuit?

State Sen. Ernie Chambers, who has served THIRTY-EIGHT years in the Nebraska legislature, filed the lawsuit last year seeking a permanent injunction against God. He said God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused “widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants.”

Chambers has said he filed the lawsuit to make the point that everyone should have access to the courts regardless of whether they are rich or poor.

Okey-dokey, Mr. Chambers. So, because you’re rich and have access to the legal hoopla, you’re filing a lawsuit to prove that you can file a lawsuit. And you’re assuming poor people are borrowing pom-poms from their local high school cheerleaders to rally you on?

Polk ruled on Tuesday that, under state law, a plaintiff must have access to the defendant for a lawsuit to move forward.

“Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice,” Polk wrote.

“Chambers, who graduated from law school but never took the bar exam, thinks he’s found a hole in the judge’s ruling.”

“The court itself acknowledges the existence of God,” Chambers said Wednesday. “A consequence of that acknowledgment is a recognition of God’s omniscience.”

Therefore, Chambers said, “Since God knows everything, God has notice of this lawsuit.”

There’s a hole all right. It’s somewhere between Chambers’ ears. And, since God knows everything, He has notice of that hole. And I’m sure He has just enough access to the plaintiff to fill it.