Facebook Twitter LinkedIn RSS Feed

Christa Allan, author of not your usual Christian fiction

  • About Christa
  • Blog
  • Books
  • News and Events
  • Contact

November 30, 2006

Dropping the mice in

Filed under: Writing — Christa Allan @ 5:50 pm

Anne Lamott says that what often gets in the way of our writing is all the critical voices we hear everytime our fingers touch the keyboards. What I’ve come to learn as a writer-person is that I first have to quiet my brain enough to even hear the voices. I’m not sure if the cacophony in my brain is because I’m a writer or I’m a writer because of the cacophony. That I even know cacophony should mean something, right?

But even processing that thought is its own noise. Allowing myself–no, more like demanding myself to stay still is its own torture. I’m not all that special in the lunacy. I live in a society that immerses itself in noise–television, radio, iPods, media bombardment. They’re all ways to avoid keeping company with the one person who is our own Hannibal Lector–ourselves. But stillness is mandatory if writing, at least any prolonged writing will result.

Some days I go to the keyboard and there’s a convention of strangers with varying degrees of neurotic tendencies all meeting in my brain. So I either write poop or I listen to poop. Either way, it’s tough. Being my own worst enemy means I can’t get rid of me. But those others? Those I can drop in the mason jar. After all, Anne Lamott says that’s where they belong. Drop them in like mice.


Comments (2)

November 29, 2006

Mortality (after reading “Who Will Know Us?” by Gary Soto)

Filed under: Writing — Christa Allan @ 5:42 pm

Mortality. She’s a stone, cold witch, she is. Cares not about our beauty, our charm, our wealth, our power, our goodness, our evil. She grabs us all. She is without friends; nepotism would not become her. She dares us to drive too fast, to drink too much, to sleep too little. She beckons us with disease and illness of body and soul. She ignores our holistic alternatives, our pesticide free vegetables, our grain fed chickens and cattle. She comes to them too. To her, we are all dispensable. We repopulate. We feed her. We make sure that she will never starve, never be forced to beg for sustenance. She yanks us from one existence into another–recklessly, carelessly, brutally–mourning after mourning after mourning.


Comments (0)

November 28, 2006

I am from

Filed under: Limbs on the Family Tree — Christa Allan @ 4:20 pm

I am from hurricane swept houses and rain drenched streets, waking on lazy Sunday mornings to my father cooking bacon and scrambled eggs, green and green plaid pleated uniforms with blazers and black and white saddle oxfords, watching the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show, afternoons at the kitchen table sharing cups of freshly brewed chickory coffee with my grandmother, a submarine gray Rambler with no air conditioning that transported three adults and two children to the hills of Tennessee, crawfish boils and chocolate snoballs and lakefront barbecues, TG&Y, and K&B purple, and Winn-Dixie, and Mardi Gras parades, and blistering summers, and evening showers where, if your heart listens, it can hear the rain drops sizzle as they sacrifice themselves to the raging heat of the concrete sidewalks. I am from yesterday, today and headed to tomorrow.


Comments (1)

November 27, 2006

I’m not over the hill; I’m just hitting another speed bump.

Filed under: Limbs on the Family Tree — Christa Allan @ 4:48 pm

This weekend I will celebrate the 19th anniversary of my 35th birthday. I console myself with the notion that aging is at least a sign I am still alive. And this morning during my Bible time, I realized that I will never be older than God, so at least I’ll always be His child. Really, have you ever heard anyone say, “I’m an adult of God?”

Parts of me don’t mind that I’m older. But the parts that have played tug-of-war with gravity and lost, well, my only option is to set myself up for so many lifts that my belly button ends up on my chin. Nah. I’m just waving the white flag of surrender; of course it’s slathered with some promising goop that guarantees my skin cells will be blasted back to infancy. In Traveling Mercies, Anne Lamott (who, if she knew me, I’m sure would want to be friends with me) refers to her jiggling thighs as “the aunties.” Endearing. Me? I’m trying to stop thinking of mine as tribes of nomadic terrorist cells. And then there’s the issue that I am (gulp) eight years older than my husband. When I was 16 and headed to the make-up counters, he was home watching cartoons. Oh, wait. Maybe that was this weekend. Seriously, I am determined that no one will ever ask him, “Where are you and your mother going out for dinner tonight?” hence, high maintenance–that’s me.


Comments (0)

November 26, 2006

Reflection

Filed under: Faith — Christa Allan @ 10:13 am

I tried dropping out. I dropped back in–but only after a year of painful introspection. Ripping away the familiar to expose the remnants. Pieces of me scattered over the years of my life. The soul-wrenching journey to finding them and gathering those fragments deemed worthy. People who know me now would not recognize the faraway me. I reflect on the her of long ago, the her with with a sadness full of the future, burdened by the present, held hostage by the past. I want to reach across the years, yank her out of her compliance, her self-doubt, her unworthiness–pull her towards me—plunge into her wilted spirit and pull it inside out and hand it to her as a gift.

Here–look what you created. Look–I found the pieces–love and forgiveness and hope and joy–they were the glue and what you lost, you gained. It had to be broken-

-your life–

the shell had to crack. Look how your life has been bountiful;a grateful blessing to me for what you had to endure to make all this possible.



Comments (0)

November 25, 2006

God doesn’t sleep and other musings

Filed under: Issues — Christa Allan @ 10:40 am

Raise your hand if you think the title of O.J. Simpson’s book should have been : LIVING IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: MURDER MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU’RE SORRY.

Title of a book out for the holidays: Cats Letters to Santa. I’m struggling with plots, conflicts, motivations, and lacks thereof—and there sits, in all its Christmas hardbackgiftable glory–this book and, of course, there is one for dogs letters to Santa. So, I’m thinking, why am I making publication so complicated? Geez, I’m from New Orleans. I could write letters to Santa from flying cockroaches whose backs won’t snap even if you stomp on them with steel-toed boots or letters from any assortment of boilable seafood. Sigh.

One of my new heroes is Moses. This is a man who, for forty years, wandered around in a desert with Jewish mothers. Forty years. Oi Vay.

I am seriously contemplating placing a menorrah in my window so that I won’t have to compete in the neighborhood unofficial Christmas decorating contest. You know, it’s just not enough at Christmas to have Jesus in your heart. Oh no. The weekend before Thanksgiving, it started with lights. We’re now up to lights trimming lawns, gardens, sidewalks, roof tops, and small deer whose skeletons are outlined with lights and whose bony heads seem to follow me as I pass by, and bloated plastic outdoor snow globes holding twirling snowmen (or should that be the more gender unbiased snowpeople?) and small choraling children captive, and decked-out to party mailboxes, and dancing lawn decorations of sleighs with packages and candy canes and nutcracker-type soldiers and bears, oh my. This is my personal version of Fear Factor, having to expose my decorating disabilities to the entire residential block. I am certain that some pharmaceutical company has manufactured a drug for this anxiety. But, in the meantime, I discovered a wreath with an unsmushed bow and greenery not yet chewed by the cats and hung it on the front door. I’m polishing the menorrah, just in case some misfortune falls upon my token decoration.


Comments (0)

November 22, 2006

Hark! A flaming turkey wing!(Ode to Thanksgiving, hum to familiar Christmas song.)

Filed under: Issues — Christa Allan @ 10:41 am

Abraham Lincoln, according to some source I read recently, was the president who made Thanksgiving Day a national holiday as a way to unite the country after the Civil War. Now, I certainly don’t want to bash ole’ Abe. Lord knows he had enough to contend with, a wife with serious psychological issues, the Civil War, and then there’s that getting assassinated thing while he’s trying to watch a musical comedy.

But I truly would have appreciated if he had given just a bit more thought as to its proximity to Christmas. I seriously doubt if he consulted anyone before this declaration. Probably most of us in the South were still rocking on whatever was left of our plantations trying to find fresh mint growing that hadn’t been smashed by those dern Yankees so we could fix ourselves a decent toddy before going about the business of finding the silverware that we hid in the well. I also don’t think he and the little woman sat down and discussed the logistics and finances of purchasing food for and preparing two holiday meals within weeks of one another. Or the guest lists. “If we invite Uncle Pointdexter for Thanksgiving, are we really ready to watch him fall asleep with his face in the mashed potatoes again at Christmas?” Or the human boomeranging made more complicated in the 21st century by having parents, in-laws, grandparents, and all the variations of stepfamilies which have increased travel time and medications exponentially. Or, heaven and Wal-Mart help us all, the DECORATIONS!!!!

But, here we are. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and before the last plate is scraped (don’t forget to wake Uncle Pointdexter), people will be charging one another to stand in line for the once-in-a-lifetime-offered-every-year sales.

This year, though, I thought it important to actually devote time to giving thanks. In fact, it may become my annual tradition because I should never forget that any day I wake up breathing is a good day.

2006 List of Thanks

1. God’s understanding and forgiveness for my being a lifelong WIP. 2. Ken, my husband. 3. My children Michael (and Lesley), Erin (and Andrae), Shannon, Sarah, and John. 4. My grandchildren: Bailey, waiting for us in heaven; Emma, and Emma’s July 4th due to arrive sibling. 5. John, my brother and my nephew Christopher. 6. My in-laws, Carolyn, Scott, Mari, Todd, nephew Justin. 7. My friends. 8. For having possessions to pack after Hurricane Katrina. 9. For having a home after Hurricane Katrina. 10. For the kindnesses of my ex-husband and his wife after Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. 11. Our jobs. 12. CARC and its employees. 13. Neighbors. 14. Our real estate agent turned special friend, Linda, who not only tirelessly showed us homes, but opened her own home to us to live. (and thanks to Abby, too) 15. Our friends Dennis and Rhonda who also opened their home and hearts to us (and thanks Philip, Madison, and Justin). 16. My students who remind me that education is more than what is between book covers. 17. For the men and women who put their lives in danger every minute so that I can sit in peace at this keyboard. 18. For having a body that still, though sometimes begrudgingly, functions. 19. For having a home to rent while we worked on our own home. 20. For this home that we live in. 21. For being a citizen of the United States. 22. For having been able to visit Hawaii in my lifetime. 23. Books to read. 24. Books to write. 25. Seafood. 26. Microwaves. 27. Pin drives. 28. Laptops. 29. Cheesecake. 30. Chocolate. 31. Starbucks and every other coffee house. 32. Amelia and Monkey. 33. Cruise control. 34. Navigation systems. 35. Google.


Comments (0)

November 20, 2006

and the whiner is…

Filed under: Issues — Christa Allan @ 10:41 am

20 November

I am adding to my (unresearched and purely subjective) list of things that I am certain were invented by men. First being those spiked high-heeled shoes given a euphemistic term I hardly want to admit to even knowing.

After this morning, I am including those machines used for mammograms. They must assume that no woman five feet or under in height must have breasts because at 4’11″, I have to stand on tiptoe to avoid dangling from the monster jaw that’s holding me captive. Also, we’re not all Pamela Anderson endowed with an abundance to sacrifice to the breast gods. And, finally, can you spell C-O-L-D? I understand that the torture is a small price to pay annually for the information it provides. Clearly, it’s beyond dumb for any woman to avoid this checkup because the only thing worse than mammary smashing is not having mammaries to smash–and having to hear one more syllable about TomKat’s nuptials. The bride wore white, and the baby wore Armani like her parents. Am I the only person who’s calling Alanis Morrisette to tell her to add this to her song?


Comments (0)

November 19, 2006

A letter I wish I could send(and not risk teaching in a broom closet)

Filed under: Education — Christa Allan @ 12:03 pm

Dear Mr./Mrs./Ms/Guardian/Life partner/Significant other :

Your son/daughter/stepson/stepdaughter/love child who is a freshman/sophomore/junior/senior is in danger of failing_______________(fill in the blank with title of subject) because s/he is experiencing the most profound peer pressure of his/her life, deciding if his/her membership should include Jews for Jesus, the Gay/Straight Alliance or the Bible Club. S/he sits in classes daily with members of the opposite sex whose hormonal rages are palpable. A few of his/her peers have palpated themselves into pregnancy and are trying to figure out how to squeeze their ever inflating tummies into a student desk not ergonomically designed for any nearly full grown human nonetheless a burgeoning eight month gestational one. Pre-bell discussions may or may not include homework, drugs, sex, drinking, tests, and dating. Not necessarily in that order. Trying to define one’s self as a druggie/drinker/geek/jock/nerd/brainiac/overachiever/chronic absentee/discipline problem is all consuming.

At high profile cocktail parties-of which I attend about three a decade-I tell people who dare ask what I “do” for a living that I am a Metacognitive Diagnostician with a specialty in adolescent academics. They inevitably nod with an austere contemplation that results in their murmuring, “How interesting,” as they pirouette in a nanosecond to find the silver tray with the full stems of bubbly.

To tell them that I am a public school teacher is to invite hell on earth. Well, maybe not hell, but at least a slow burn. Most of them are hysterically happy that No Child Left Behind means my behind if one of those little darlings fails to get on the wagon train with the rest of the group. Because, after all, I am sure that every employee at his or her firm travels on the same I.Q. /capability light beam.


Comments (0)

November 18, 2006

Is it June yet?

Filed under: Education,Writing — Christa Allan @ 8:57 am

18 November

So, am I the only person who wonders how those two people in the Cyalis commercial managed to drag two bathtubs to the edge of of what appears to be a wine grove? No wonder the poor man needs some prescription help. He’s expending far too much energy in the wrong places.

No school for one week. Well, no students for one week. Sometime during this time “off,” I will finsih grading papers, reread Things Fall Apart, finish reading Speak, plan a Socratic Seminar combining Heart of Darkness and Things Fall Apart, develop a unit for Speak, cruise the telephone book for possible guest speakers to discuss sexual harrassment, date rape, suicide, and other equally depressing teen issues, write (finally) a detailed syllabus for my AP students AND my Creative Writing class, write a monthly syllabus for my other English III classes, and type up handouts for the above.

And this is being “on vacation”?

Also on the agenda:

1. Open the Pandora’s binder that is National Board Certification and attempt to write at least one entry for my portfolio.

2. Finish editing my two query letters for my women’s fiction WIP.

3. Submit query letters for my women’s fiction to agents and publishers on the list that I will make. Guess that should be number 2.5.

4. Polish query letter for YA.

5. See #3, substitute YA for women’s fiction.

6. Email students and, I pray, have some who will be available to meet with me as an advisory board of sorts for my YA novels. I want to throw ideas at them since they’re in the teen trenches–God bless ‘em. Plus, they are talented , ambitious writers themselves and brutually honest.

One of my students, Sam, is working on my soon-to-be-born website. I am amazed by his techno-speak and talent, not to mention his generosity sacrificing personal time to create a website for a teacher whose assignments suck up much of his life.

Is it June yet?


Comments (0)
Older Posts »

Subscribe to blog via email:

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner



Christa Allan Copyright © 2008 Christa Allan

Design by Natalie Jost