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September 7, 2010

Coming around again…and again…and

Filed under: ej-oo-key-shuhn — Christa Allan @ 9:07 pm

I found this blog post from four years ago. I’m reposting it because, sadly, nothing’s changed…

DISCLAIMER: The experiences of which I speak are personal to me and are not necessarily representative of all teachers and/or schools and/or school boards and/or students and/or their parents.

1. A universal revelation is embedded in the following fill-in-the-blank: “It would make so much more sense if we____________.” I realize that whatever I use to complete the statement probably won’t happen because, generally, if it makes sense, it doesn’t happen. And so, I solved the dilemma with the dilemma itself.

2. COPIERS (the machines, not the students): Teachers, at least in high school, are usually granted one period per day called our “plan period.” Generally, we’re planning how to call parents and/ or return their calls, grade papers, record grades, return parents’ emails, possibly attend a parent conference, make copies, and-we pray-go to the restroom in the sixty or fewer minutes we’ve been granted. Oh, I forgot, and we plan lessons during that time.

Take the average number of people on the faculty, divide that by the average number of people on the faculty less twenty, and that’s how many copying machines are actually functioning on any given day.

At one school I taught in, we were on a first name basis with the repair person. In fact, in that same school it was not unusual to wait in a line of eight or more teachers to make copies. School started before 7:30. Many of us would arrive an hour early just to beat one another to the front of the line. And on exam days, beat one another took on a whole new meaning. It was also in this school that we were limited as to the number of copies we could make. Run out of copies before you run out of month? Two options–buy them (yes, with our own $$$) or work a deal with one of the coaches, who, for some odd reason, never used their allotment.

It’s a glorious day in teacher land when you open the door to the faculty lounge and there’s a vacant copier, and it doesn’t have a sign telling you that it needs toner or is blinking some alien code.

3. SUPPLY MONEY: Oops, I’m sorry, could you repeat that? Oh, yes. Money to buy supplies. One time in my entire teacher life I was bowled over by what I was granted to purchase supplies and that was in the school in which I currently teach. I’d arrived after Hurricane Katrina and was granted a generous sum to get my classroom together. (Of course, the next day I had to evacuate for Hurricane Rita, but that’s another blog. )Prior to that, the most I’d ever received in a school year was $75.00; the average sum was $50.00 per year.

Now, I’d like you to imagine walking to your desk at a company at which you’ve just been hired, opening the drawers and finding—nothing. No things. Nothing. Teachers are not shocked by this. We purchase our own everything–pens, pencils, paper clips, rubber bands (my daughter used to call them bubber rands), staplers, yaddayaddayadda. Posters hanging on walls, calendars, clock, overhead transparencies, dry erase markers for the boards, erasers for the dry erase boards, manila folders, cleaning supplies, Kleenex, paper towels. Now I know some teachers in some schools put some of these items on their supply list for students to schlep in the first weeks of school. I usually don’t. The room does come with a file cabinet, a trash can, and sometimes a bookcase. It’s always fun to watch a first year teacher ask, “Where can I get a_______?” We direct him/her to Wal-Mart.

In the early years, I would take pity on students who did not have a pen or pencil or paper and supply them. But when I started having to purchase school supplies for my own five children, that ended as fast as Rene Zegweller’s marriage. Now, and because I teach primarily juniors who are chronologically 16 and 17-year-olds, he without a pen better hope for a friend with.

Here’s my take on that: Did this same kid forget his/her cell phone or his/her pants? No. So, I instruct said kid to attach a pen to the cell phone or pants pocket and have the pen in school. It’s not only problem ownership, it’s just simply responsibility. Try getting to the airport without a ticket and borrowing one from the pilot or your friend. Let me know how that works for you.


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August 16, 2010

Dogs: An unusual guide to school reform

Filed under: ej-oo-key-shuhn — Tags: Common Core State Standards Initiative, education, education reform, Marion Brady, NCLB, No Child Left Behind, Race to the Top — Christa Allan @ 1:37 am

Marion Brady, is a  veteran teacher, administrator, curriculum designer and author. This was emailed to me by Lee Barrios, also a teacher, who asked:

Send the copies to your senators and representatives before they sell their vote to the publishing and testing corporations intent on getting an ever-bigger slice of that half-trillion dollars a year America spends on educating.

By Marion Brady
Driving the country roads of Scotland, Ireland and Wales, I have sometimes been lucky enough to be blocked by sheep being moved from one pasture to another.

I say ‘lucky’ because it allows me to watch an impressive performance by a dog – usually a Border Collie.

What a show! A single, mid-sized dog herding two or three hundred sheep, keeping them moving in the right direction, rounding up strays, knowing how to intimidate but not cause panic, funneling them all through a gate, and obviously enjoying the challenge.

Why a Border Collie? Why not an Akita or Xoloitzcuintli or another of about 400 breeds listed on the Internet?

Because, among the people for whom herding sheep is serious business, there is general agreement that Border Collies are better at doing what needs to be done than any other dog. They have ‘the knack.’

That knack is so important that those who care most about Border Collies even oppose their being entered in dog shows. That, they say, would lead to the Border Collie being bred to look good, and looking good isn’t the point. Brains, innate ability, performance – that’s the point.

Other breeds are no less impressive in other ways. If you’re lost in a snowstorm in the Alps, you don’t need a Border Collie. You need a big, strong dog with a really good nose, lots of fur, wide feet that don’t sink too deeply into snow, and an unerring sense of direction for returning with help. You need a Saint Bernard.

If varmints are sneaking into your hen house, killing your chickens, and escaping down holes in a nearby field, you don’t need a Border Collie or a Saint Bernard, you need a Fox Terrier.

It isn’t that many different breeds can’t be taught to herd, lead high-altitude rescue efforts, or kill foxes. They can. It’s just that teaching all dogs to do things which one particular breed can do better than any other doesn’t make much sense.

We accept the reasonableness of that argument for dogs. We reject it for kids.

The non-educators now running the education show say American kids are lagging ever-farther behind in science and math, and that the consequences of that for America’s economic well-being could be catastrophic.

So, what is this rich, advantaged country of ours doing to try to beat out the competition?

Mainly, we put in place the No Child Left Behind program, now replaced by Race to the Top and the Common Core State Standards Initiative. If that fact makes you optimistic about the future of education in America, think again about dogs.

There are all kinds of things they can do besides herd, rescue, and engage foxes. They can sniff luggage for bombs. Chase felons. Stand guard duty. Retrieve downed game birds. Guide the blind. Detect certain diseases. Locate earthquake survivors. Entertain audiences. Play nice with little kids. Go for help if Little Nell falls down a well.

So, with No Child Left Behind and Race to the Top as models, let’s set performance standards for these and all other canine capabilities and train all dogs to meet them. All 400 breeds. All skills. Leave No Dog Behind!

Two-hundred-pound Mastiffs may have a little trouble with the chase-the-fox-down-the-hole standard, and Chihuahuas will probably have difficulty with the tackle-the-felon-and-pin-him-to-the-ground standard. But, hey, no excuses! Standards are standards! Leave No Dog Behind.

Think there’s something wrong with a same-standards-and-tests-for-everybody approach to educating? Think a math whiz shouldn’t be held back just because he can’t write a good five-paragraph essay? Think a gifted writer shouldn’t be refused a diploma because she can’t solve a quadratic equation? Think a promising trumpet player shouldn’t be kept out of the school orchestra or pushed out on the street because he can’t remember the date of the Boxer Rebellion?

If you think there’s something fundamentally, dangerously wrong with an educational reform effort that’s actually designed to standardize, designed to ignore human variation, designed to penalize individual differences, designed to produce a generation of clones, photocopy this column.

If you think it’s stupid to require every kid to read the same books, think the same thoughts, parrot the same answers, make several photocopies. And in the margin at the top of each, write, in longhand, something like, “Please explain why the standards and accountability fad isn’t a criminal waste of brains,” or, “Why are you trashing America’s hope for the future?” or just, “Does this make sense?”


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August 4, 2010

“What Teachers Make,” by TAYLOR MALI

Filed under: ej-oo-key-shuhn — Tags: Taylor Mali, teachers, What Teachers Make — Christa Allan @ 12:28 am

I’m not sure when or how I first discovered Taylor Mali; I’m just glad I did. What you are about to watch was performed at the very first Page Meets Stage pairing at the Bowery Poetry Club on November 12, 2005. Almost five years later, it still rings true. One little warning about a possible sign language violation, but it’s brief and all part of the total effect (ask Flannery O’Conner about this).

This isn’t the first time I’ve featured this on my blog, and I’m certain it won’t be the last. But, since school starts for me tomorrow and for the students on Monday, this just seemed to be the right time to remember why it is I do what I do.

“What Teachers Make,” by TAYLOR MALI, posted with vodpod
Taylor Mali’s Website


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July 31, 2010

Bloom’s Taxonomy: Taught by Pirates of the Caribbean

Filed under: ej-oo-key-shuhn — Christa Allan @ 10:18 pm

The six levels of Benjamin Bloom’s Taxonomy of Educational Objectives as found in Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. Music from Pirates I …

Bloom’s Taxonomy According to Pirates of the Ca…, posted with vodpod


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July 26, 2010

Resume Mistakes: They’re only funny to the person who didn’t hire you

Filed under: Writing and Wreading, ej-oo-key-shuhn — Tags: Mistakes, Resumes — Christa Allan @ 2:05 am

Many high schools offer an Internship class to students during their senior year. Students spend two, sometimes more, hours each day with lawyers, accountants, teachers, physical therapists, veterinarians, decorators or another professional in a career in which they are interested.  If a student determines the career choice is one that doesn’t interest him, then he’s (his parents?) saved a great deal of money in college. If it does prove to be of interest, then the student generally pursues the curriculum with greater passion.

Years ago, I taught an Internship class and, in preparing to do so, had to spend hours during the summer shadowing some of the places/people where our interns would be assigned.  One of the employers shared information that I continue to repeat to my students every year even though I no longer teach the internship class.

He told me that he will not hire anyone who does not correctly spell a word that is already on the job application. “If a person can’t pay attention to detail on the job application, how can I expect attention to detail on the job itself?”

Last night, I tripped across this site, 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes.  Are they funny? Yes, depending on which side of the resume you happen to be on. What’s not so funny is that some of the mistakes were due to any one of the number of errors I ask my students to pay attention to every year.

So, here’s evidence that there’s something worse than not passing English…it’s not getting hired.

(I’ve included a few here. You can click on the link for the rest.)

From Resume Hell:

  1. “Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse”
  2. “1990 – 1997: Stewardess – Royal Air Force”
  3. Hobbies: “enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians”
  4. “Service for old man to check they are still alive or not.”

From Ask Annie’s article about resume blunders:

  • “One applicant used colored paper and drew glitter designs around the border”
  • Hobbies: “getting drunk everynight down by the water, playing my guitar and smoking pot”
  • Why Interested in Position: “to keep my parole officer from putting back me in jail”
  • A woman had attached a picture of herself in a mini mouse costume
  • Hobbies: “Drugs and girls”
  • Under “job related skills” – for a web designer – “can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet”
  • My sister-in-law misspelled the word “proofreading” in her skill set.
  • Objective: “career on the Information Supper Highway”
  • Experience: “Stalking, shipping & receiving”
  • From HotJobs’ Real-life Resume Blunders to Avoid:

    1. “I often use a laptap.”
    2. “Able to say the ABCs backward in under five seconds.”
    3. “I am a wedge with a sponge taped to it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone’s door to absorb as much as possible.”

    From Fortune Magazine via HumorMatters.com:

    1. “Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
    2. “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
    3. “Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”
    4. “Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
    5. “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”
    6. “It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
    7. “Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
    8. “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”

    Read more at: http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/#ixzz0uktzq4Ev


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    May 14, 2010

    Why teachers have job security

    Filed under: ej-oo-key-shuhn — Tags: students, teachers — Christa Allan @ 10:06 am

     

     

     

     

     

      

     

      

      

     

      

     

      

      

     

      

      

      

      

      

     

     

     
     


    Comments (1)

    March 15, 2010

    Bloopers and bloopees

    Filed under: ej-oo-key-shuhn — Tags: students — Christa Allan @ 2:15 am

    These are not mine. . .these have been collected over the years from various sources in my teacher universe. bloopers1

    • I saw one of my former students working at a local clothing store and asked
      about college and her future plans.  She replied that she was attending a
      local junior college but had plans to transfer to a state university in
      order to pursue her “bachelorette” degree.
    • Macbeth was a genital in Duncan’s army.
    • “Without God, the Bible would have been a bust.”
    • What if you let your baby stay with people in Britain while they were growing up.  Would they speak British or at least English with a British accent”?
    • “Do you think your tongue could get so big it couldn’t fit in your mouth?”
    • About MLK Jr: “He received the nobody piece prize.”
    • Daisy (in Gatsby) has a “Whoa is me” attitude.
    • Hamlet and Gertrude have an “intestinal” relationship


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    March 10, 2010

    LARRY FERLAZZO: Did You Know That THE Key To Saving American Education Is Firing Bad Teachers?

    Filed under: ej-oo-key-shuhn — Tags: education, teachers — Christa Allan @ 2:04 pm

    Because I couldn’t say it better myself:

    Newsweek’s cover this week proclaimed that “The Key To Saving American Education” was that “we must fire bad teachers.”

    Now, that’s what I call a sophisticated analysis of a complex problem….

    Yes, there are bad teachers. But, as the saying goes, if the only tool you have is a hammer, than every problem looks like a nail.

    Instead of only scapegoating teachers, perhaps a more accurate and non-black/white solution would be to also look at curriculum, school and district leadership, parent engagement, and community pressures like unemployment, safety, and health care. Is it really too much to ask that experienced journalists (and others) recognize that most problems of any kind require a multi-pronged approach?

    And it might be helpful if the writers didn’t say that teaching doesn’t attract “the best and the brightest.” Questioning the overall intelligence of teachers is not only insulting, it’s wrong (see Do Teachers REALLY Come From The Bottom Third Of Colleges? Or Is That Statistic A Bunch Of Baloney?)

    READ THE REST HERE.


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    March 9, 2010

    Accidental learning doesn’t require insurance

    Filed under: ej-oo-key-shuhn — Tags: education, students — Christa Allan @ 3:45 am

    Overheard: “I have Mrs. Allan. We don’t learn anything in that class.”

    http://www.softwaremag.com/archive/2002-02/images/E-Learning.jpegWell, if you learned you didn’t learn anything, wasn’t that learning?

    Too many students measure learning using the following formula: student + worksheet = assignment of worthwhile consequence.

    Sad. How did that happen?

    Recently, one of my students, writhing in her desk, alternately moaning and whining, groaned out, “Can’t you teach like everyone else? Can’t we just memorize this stuff? You expect us to be able to use it too.”

    Me: “No. No. Yes.”

    During my brief twenty years of educating high school students, I’ve learned that the most significant learning can be purely accidental. The learning that catches you by surprise years later when an event triggers some memory, for example,  and my “you have to know what to do when you don’t know what to do” suddenly makes sense.

    Maybe in the yawning midst of the lesson on uses of semi-colons, there’s the lesson in perseverance or patience or possibilities.

    I’d like to pat my own back for that particular “accidental” learning, but I can’t.  Actually, my role is to provide the opportunity for the serendipity, not to provide the moment it happens.


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    February 22, 2010

    Logical fallacy?

    Filed under: ej-oo-key-shuhn — Christa Allan @ 5:34 am

    You know all those people who scream and yell and rant about teachers being responsible for the dumbing of kids? Um…just wondering…how did “those people”  get so smart?

    For added entertainment while I’m off dumbing down the next generation, go to VISUWORDS. Enjoy.


    Comments (9)
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