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March 12, 2013

I’m at Relz Reviewz today and the LouisianaVoice

Filed under: Books,Education — Tags: Books, education, Relz Reviewz — Christa Allan @ 12:42 pm

The two passions in my life: writing and advocating for public school education…all on one day!

You’re invited to RELZ REVIEWZ Character Spotlight for my newest release, Threads of Hope. She’s giving away a free copy.

Hope to see you there!

 

And, please stop by LouisianaVoice and read my guest column about teaching.


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August 18, 2012

Teachers Exposed (again)

Filed under: Education — Tags: copiers, supplies, teaching — Christa Allan @ 1:29 am

While I’m careening toward a deadline and grading papers and writing lesson plans and sponsoring clubs, I’m sharing a post I’d written when I first started blogging. Here’s the sad news. . .the original post was written in 2006. Nothing’s changed.

Shame on you if you clicked on this blog expecting to find something salacious!

DISCLAIMER: The experiences of which I speak are personal to me and are not necessarily representative of all teachers and/or schools and/or school boards and/or students and/or their parents.

1. A universal revelation is embedded in the following fill-in-the-blank: “It would make so much more sense if we____________.” I realize that whatever I use to complete the statement probably won’t happen because, generally, if it makes sense, it doesn’t happen. And so, I solved the dilemma with the dilemma itself.

2. COPIERS (the machines, not the students): Teachers, at least in high school, are usually granted one period per day called our “plan period.” Generally, we’re planning how to call parents and/ or return their calls, grade papers, record grades, return parents’ emails, possibly attend a parent conference, make copies, and-we pray-go to the restroom in the fifty-five or fewer minutes we’ve been granted. Oh, I forgot, and we plan lessons during that time.

Take the average number of people on the faculty, divide that by the average number of people on the faculty less twenty, and that’s how many copying machines are actually functioning on any given day. At one school I taught in, we were on a first name basis with the repair person. In fact, in that same school it was not unusual to wait in a line of eight or more teachers to make copies. School started before 7:30. Many of us would arrive an hour early just to beat one another to the front of the line. And on exam days, beat one another took on a whole new meaning.

It was also in this school that we were limited as to the number of copies we could make. Run out of copies before you run out of month? Two options–buy them (yes, with our own $$$) or work a deal with one of the coaches, who, for some odd reason, never used their allotment.

It’s a glorious day in teacher land when you open the door to the faculty lounge and there’s a vacant copier, and it doesn’t have a sign telling you that it needs toner or is blinking some alien code.

3. SUPPLY MONEY: Oops, I’m sorry, could you repeat that? Oh, yes. Money to buy supplies. One time in my entire teacher life I was bowled over by what I was granted to purchase supplies. I’d arrived after Hurricane Katrina and  received a generous sum to get my classroom together. Of course, the next day I had to evacuate for Hurricane Rita, but that’s another blog. In 2006, our supply money for the year was $75.00. In the past few years, it has increased to $100.00.

Now, I’d like you to imagine walking to your desk at a company at which you’ve just been hired, opening the drawers and finding—nothing.

No things. Nothing.

Teachers are not shocked by this. We purchase our own everything–pens, pencils, paper clips, rubber bands (my daughter used to call them bubber rands), staplers, staples. Posters hanging on walls, calendars, clock, dry erase markers for the boards, erasers for the dry erase boards, manila folders, cleaning supplies, Kleenex, paper towels. Now I know some teachers in some schools place some of these items on their supply list for students to schlep in the first weeks of school. I usually don’t. The room does come with a file cabinet, a trash can, and sometimes a bookcase.

It’s always fun to watch a first year teacher ask, “Where can I get a_______?”   And then we direct him/her to Wal-Mart or an office supply store.

In the early years, I would take pity on students who did not have a pen or pencil or paper and provide missing supplies. But when I started having to purchase school supplies for my own five children, that ended as fast as Kim K.’s marriage. Now, and because I teach primarily juniors who are chronologically 16 and 17-year-olds, he without a pen better hope for a friend with one.

Here’s my take on that: Did this same kid forget his/her cell phone or his/her pants? No. So, I instruct said kid to attach a pen to the cell phone or pants pocket and have the pen in school. It’s not only problem ownership, it’s just simply responsibility.

Try getting to the airport without a ticket and borrowing one from the pilot or your friend. Let me know how that works for you.

 


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July 26, 2012

Teachers can only open the door

Filed under: Education — Tags: ChooseNOWMinistries, classroom, Nicole O"Dell, students, teachers, teaching — Christa Allan @ 10:06 am

I’m hanging out at ChooseNOWMinistries!

Some of my best stories about school will have to wait until after I retire. In the meantime, most of the latest antics I’ve composed only in my brain, and then they ghost around in there and never quite materialize onto paper or the blog.

Today, though, a series of events converged into the perfect storm that, without the support of my colleagues, would have left me drowning in a sea of frustration.

The first strike of thunder started with a student complaining about having to watch the Veterans’ Day special program on the morning announcements. In one of my rare “call your kids from the neighbor’s house” voices, I informed him that men and women died so he could whine about sitting in a classroom watching a flat screen television, and I was certain the soldiers’ families would so appreciate knowing how much he honored their contributions.

READ THE REST HERE!


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July 10, 2012

Merit this with your vouchers.

Filed under: Education — Tags: Diane Ravitch, education, Louisiana, merit pay, Obama, Sidwell, vouchers — Christa Allan @ 1:55 am

NOTE FROM CHRISTA: In scrolling down bloggy memory lane, I happened upon this post I wrote over three years ago. Only, now, it’s the present. But my passion for education on the verge of being paid for my students’ improving test scores has not changed. If you live in Louisiana, and you don’t know what’s happening in public school education in this state, then get ready. Your tax dollars will be funding vouchers for students to attend private schools, one of which teaches using DVDs only. But I digress. If you’re interested, follow this link and keep scrolling through the posts: Diane Ravitch.

 

“Good teachers will be rewarded with more money for improved student achievement.” President Obama, 3/11/09

Really, President Obama? Is that before or after my health benefits are taxed? You know, the proposal for which you criticized John McCain that you’re now suggesting you’ll support.

So, Mr. Obama, you’re going to “reward” me for my students’ higher test scores. Though, really, it’s not as if you have personal experience with children being subjected to standardized testing. Your two daughters attend Sidwell, where the average annual tuition per student is $29,000. Private school students are not required to take these tests; therefore, your daughters’ teachers aren’t handcuffed to test scores. To tuition, maybe. But not “improved student achievement.”

We public school teachers are a savvy bunch. We know “reward” is a euphemism for “merit pay.” We also find it amusing that the politicians clamoring for it were, largely, taught by teachers who didn’t receive it.  And, we also share a giggle or two knowing politicians are unlikely to subject themselves to the very approach they deem important for teachers.

Merit pay, also known as “pay-for-performance,” has been successful in school districts around the nation. Also successful in some foreign schools is caning students as a discipline measure. The point being, the desired result isn’t always a reflection of the integrity of the program.

Do teachers want higher salaries? Well, of course. Unlike AIG, which continues to lavish millions on employee bonuses, we haven’t been the recipients of billions of dollars of bailout funds. Though, it is estimated that teachers spend about $4 billion every year; that’s an average of $1,200 per teacher. It’s their own money, not reimbursed, and it’s used to purchase classroom supplies.

The rest of this will be personal. I don’t pretend to be the voice of all teachers. All I know is what I’ve learned in the 20+ years I’ve spent in public high schools. So, here it is:

Many people I’ve talked to think teachers fear the idea of merit pay because they don’t want to be held accountable. Baloney.

Here’s the essential problem. I’m referencing a discussion from a January 21, 2007 post by Hube over at The Colossus of Rhodey because he’s spot on:

In discussing merit pay, a principal was quoted, “This straight-line pay-for-performance formula awarded teachers objectively in a way that squares with popular notions of fairness and skirts fears of subjective judgment. In most merit-based lines of work, say baseball, it’s called getting paid for “putting numbers on the board.”

“Doing away with as much subjectivity in teacher evaluations (for bonuses) is a good thing; however, the analogy to baseball is far from perfect. Baseball players have only to rely on themselves for their performance. They control all the “factors of production,” so to speak. On the other hand, teachers [also] have to rely their students, obviously. That is a pretty significant factor of production with aspects outside of teacher control, is it not?” (Hube)

Accountability? Bring it on.  My administrators know they can walk in my classroom any day, any time. They’ve not only walked in unannounced, they’ve brought other teachers and supervisors from Central Office. They’ve sat next to my students. Asked them what they were doing and why.

Do I coach my students ahead of time? No.  I want my students to answer honestly, and I’m not afraid of what they’re going to say. If a student doesn’t think s/he is learning, I want to know. Unfortunately, some of my students don’t realize until years later that they’ve learned something. I have the emails to prove it.

I’m a “good teacher,” Mr. Obama, and not because my students’ scores attest to that. My students, for over twenty years, attest to that. Not all, obviously. But enough of them that I continue to do what I do because I know I’m reaching students. Because, Mr. Obama, I teach students. I don’t teach the book.

I’m a good teacher because I don’t teach to the test. I teach to the student. After high school graduation, my students-at least 90% of them-will attend college. My goal is to prepare them, not simply for college, but for the world beyond high school. To teach them what to do when they won’t know what to do. To teach them strategies for success, to think critically, to open themselves to becoming lifelong learners.

Student achievement, at least in high school, is measured by standardized tests in the four core areas: math, science, social science, and English.  These scores and No Child Left Behind [translation for teachers...leave a child behind, then it's MY behind], conveniently provide the whip-crack for teachers. At least for those of us who teach core subjects.

So how will foreign language teachers, art teachers,business education, consumer science [for those of you over the age of 30...that's home economics], speech teachers, and physical education teachers receive merit pay?  My high school P.E. teacher would have owed money based on my performance. What about special education teachers? On what would merit be based for their teaching personal care skills, social skills, employment skills? How is merit pay going to reconcile “achievements” in grade levels ranging from pre-kindergarten to twelfth grade?

What about teachers in areas where students go home to parents who can’t read and/or write, or no electricity, or no dinner, or no one home?

Are there “bad” teachers? Of course.  Mary Kay Letourneau was education’s poster child of bad.  Every profession has “bad.” I’m thinking, just off the top of my yuck list: Dr. Michael Kamrava (Nadya Suleman’s fertility doctor), Michael Vick, Bernard Madoff. . .

It bothers me that the teacher who’s been using the same test for the past fifteen years and whose students are coloring pictures of The Globe Theater  is paid the same (or more depending on years of experience) as I. It bothers me that some administrators, who have three years to decide if a teacher should be tenured or not, aren’t doing their job. It bothers me that some administrators wouldn’t know good teaching if it slapped back into their offices, and those administrators will be evaluating teacher performance.

If politicians want to apply “merit pay” as the balm to a disgruntled public, then base it on a system that makes sense. Reward teachers for professional development. Insist that teachers earn a master’s degree or National Board Certification within a certain number of years. Provide opportunities for professional development that aren’t oxymoronic. Hold teachers accountable at the school level for adherence to curriculum and/or grading policies.  Evaluate teachers more than twice a year.

Then again, basing merit pay on test scores could be a solution to its own problem. If it’s all about the scores, provide every student a computer, insert the necessary test prep software, and schools would no longer need teachers. Just technology monitors.

 

 

All clip art in Discovery Education’s Clip Art Gallery created by Mark A. Hicks, illustrator.


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May 18, 2012

That’s what she said…

Filed under: Education,Writing — Christa Allan @ 12:29 am


DIRECTIONS ON HANDOUT:

1. Write an essay consisting of five paragraphs.

2. Staple this handout to the back of your paper before submitting it.

3. Your essay is due at the end of class.

QUESTIONS TO TEACHER (ME) FROM STUDENTS:

1. Does it really have to be five paragraphs? What if I write only four?

2. Where do I staple this handout?

3. Do you really want this stapled to my essay?

4. Am I supposed to staple this to the back of my essay?

5. I’m out of staples.

6. What if I don’t finish? Can I take this home?

WHAT STUDENTS REALLY WANT TO SAY:

1. If we barrage you with enough questions, we think you’ll eventually back off. We would rather listen to an hour of Frank Sinatra than write even fifty words on a sheet of paper.

2. We know you told us at the beginning of the school year to purchase our own mini-stapler, but we either didn’t purchase one, purchased one and lost it, purchased one and broke it, and/or it ran out of staples five months ago when the kid behind me took it and emptied the staples, one by one, into my hair. I’ve passed any number of places where I could purchase more staples and/or a stapler, but I really didn’t have time to stop because Starbucks was about to open or close, and I needed to be there. Anyway, we don’t understand why you won’t allow us to use your stapler when we know you’re hiding at least two of them in your desk.

3. Is the earth going to stop spinning if I staple the handout to the front instead of the back? Sometimes you seem just a tad bit OCD. We think, perhaps, we might be able to help you overcome that if we don’t always follow directions.

4. We know we could finish before the end of class, but we have homework for Free Enterprise/Civics/Biology/Spanish/French/Geometry that’s due next hour. And, BobbieSue didn’t have time in my other class to finish telling me what happened at Prom because she got all caught up in the fashion disaster that MarthaJo wore and then the bell rang.

WHAT THE TEACHER REALLY WANTS TO SAY (and sometimes MAY say some of the below):

1. Directions are entirely at your discretion. Feel free NOT to follow them; however, feel equally free to stand ready for the consequences.

2. Students in 11th grade honors  should be able to burp five paragraphs in fifty minutes. That’s ten minutes per paragraph. If you think that’s not a long time, think about being poked in the eye with a hot stick for ten minutes.

3. If you write only four paragraphs, that’s one less paragraph I need to read. See #1.

4. Yes, I want the handout stapled to the BACK because I don’t want to read 100+ essays and have to flip the handout out of the way every time. You will need the handout when I return the essay to remind you of the directions. See #1.

5. I told you in August that if you were old enough to sit behind the wheel of a moving vehicle traveling at 50+ miles per hour, you were certainly old enough and responsible enough to purchase, be trusted with, and use a stapler no longer than 2-3 inches.

For the record, I have THREE staplers. I purchased them with MY money. Years ago, I allowed students to use my stapler. Over that period of time, staplers were “lost,” broken, or abused. When it was time to submit papers, the room sounded as if it had been invaded by wildebeests galloping through the Kalahari when 25-30 students would simultaneously flock to my desk. It was uncivilized. And it wasted valuable class time. And it made ME responsible for YOUR paper. And so the entitlement program of free stapling ended.

6. My directions may seem, possibly could be, OCD-ish. Wait until you fill out your first tax return. Ask the IRS if you can switch around the information. Let me know how that works for you.

7. The lesson isn’t limited to the writing. It’s a lesson on being responsible, practicing wise time management, and following directions.

8. Clearly, socialization is an integral part of the high school experience, one which I certainly would not want you to experience the pain of deprivation. So, to accommodate that need, we have scheduled special times for your bonding with friends. We call it before and after school, passing time between classes, and lunch.

 

 


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February 23, 2012

ON EDUCATING TEENS: Celebrate my first column at Choose WOW Ministries

Filed under: Education — Tags: Choose WOW Ministries, education, Nicole O' Dell, parents, teaching, teens — Christa Allan @ 10:45 am

Where you can find me today and every fourth Thursday of the month.

Please join me and a host of other columnists at Nicole O’Dell’s informative and important site for teens and their parents: Choose NOW Ministries!

My first column is today…read it HERE.

 


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September 17, 2011

Humor in the rear view mirror

Filed under: Blog,Education — Tags: school — Christa Allan @ 9:34 am

I’m on sabbatical this semester, so when I found this post from the beginning of a not-so-distant school year, I laughed. The passage of time can truly contribute to humor.

 

Since it’s almost midnight, and I have to roll out of bed in almost five hours, I’m going to give the microwave version of the past two weeks:

1. I’m simultaneously amused and enraged by the insolent arrogance of some freshmen who inform me that reading and “writting” will “defiantly” not be important in their future.

2. I have a student who buys books from “barns and nobles.”

3. Another student said that he “learned last year how to profread better.”

4. The favorite book of another is Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Zeus.

5. As for receiving feedback on writing, this student shared: “A teacher who doesn’t writhe on my paper doesn’t care much about what I write.”

6. How did this student learn to write? “Teachers taught me letters of the alphabet which obliviously helped.”

7. Another student is “writing an autobiography of his grandmother’s life.”

8.  Writing issues noted in papers submitted to date:

no use of apostrophes when writing contractions, so I find myself “decoding” the following: dont, cant, arent, isnt, wont, theyre, Ill

less than 10% of my students use cursive; I don’t mind that they print…what I mind is that they print IN ALL CAPS or in all lower case. If the periods ending their sentences aren’t the size of green peas, I don’t know where one sentence ends and another begins

use of “i” for personal pronoun “I” is gaining popularity

so far, not one student is using hearts or asterisks to dot the letters “i,j”

usage errors are multiplying faster than clunker cars: your/you’re, their/there/they’re, its/it’s, then/than are the major problems

we’re chanting ” a lot is two words”

paragraphing is apparently becoming obsolete

And, in closing, I’m reminded by one student that “going to collage is important because he wants to become a veet.”

What situations in your life may be funny now that weren’t so much so when they happened?


Comments (6)

May 26, 2011

You can be it…but just don’t say it.

Filed under: Education,Faith,Issues — Christa Allan @ 2:15 pm

What do God and homosexuality have in common?
Teachers in Tennessee can’t talk about either one of them in public school classrooms.

On Friday, the Tennessee Senate passed a bill that prevents teachers from discussing homosexuality with elementary and middle school students. Instruction will be “limited exclusively to age-appropriate natural human reproduction science.”  The New York Daily News quotes Republican Stacey Campfield, the bill’s sponsor, as saying,  “homosexuals don’t naturally reproduce” and has argued families should decide when its appropriate to talk with their children about homosexuality.

The state curriculum already in place makes no mention of homosexuality according to the Tennessee State Board of Education who argues that fact makes the bill unnecessary.

Now labeled the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, SB 49 still has to go before the House where it’s still in committee and some will try to keep in there until 2012.

I hope it dies there.

“Age appropriate natural human reproduction science.” Seriously? So is a discussion of in vitro fertilization equally taboo? And given that a definition involves more than just one’s sexual orientation, I don’t think that graphic depictions or discussions of heterosexuality are appropriate either.Good grief. If we continue to instruct students in heterosexuality, they might actually engage in it. (Read Alexandra Petri’s column about how the bill doesn’t go far enough.)

I don’t even know where to start with “age appropriate.” Quite a number of middle-aged people are suspect. But if Campfield understood age appropriate, he would also understand that 13 and 14 year old students committed suicide because of  being bullied for their sexual orientation, perceived or otherwise. Maybe we should append the bill with “Let’s Pretend.” Let’s pretend we don’t have students in public schools with gay parents or siblings or relatives or friends or who are gay themselves.

Campbill also stated that one motivation for the bill was to let families handle that issue. “That” being any discussion of homosexuality. Does that mean he finds it perfectly acceptable for families to not have to handle discussion of heterosexuality? Let’s leave that one to the schools? Well, gosh darn, how’s that going to factor into all those blabberings about teacher accountability and tying salaries to test scores?

I guess if no one’s talking about homosexuality, then there won’t be any bashing, right? Unless Mr. Eugene Delgaudi, President, Public Advocate of the United States gets his way. (For the record, I’m not sure how he came to be elected to that office. ) In a recent call out, he said: “The Homosexual Lobby will not take this loss lying down. They will double-down and come back with a vengeance.”   I’d suggest, though, he revisit the definition of double entendre before his next letter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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May 21, 2011

What if…

Filed under: Education — Christa Allan @ 3:43 pm

As I celebrate the end of my 2010-2011 grading marathon, I want to share a post I wrote some time ago that still thumps in my teacher heart at the close of every school year:

Some days, I want to hurl the textbooks and state-mandated curriculum through the windows that open only to the windows of another portable classroom, and announce:

Okay, let’s talk about what really matters. Let’s talk about what you’ll face in the world. How tragedy and joy are holding hands, and they’ll play Red Rover with you for the rest of your life.

I know some students are experts at the “divert the teacher from the lecture” game. And some teachers are sucked in and allow class time to be swallowed by rambling tales of  the teacher’s children’s latest antics, their spouse’s occupations or lack thereof, the state of their disunion.

But that’s not what I’m advocating.

I’ve squandered so much of my own life afraid of the unknown, afraid of deciding, afraid of not deciding. I wonder, if someone had grabbed me by the collar of my uncertainty and encouraged me to risk, to ignore those who did and would steal my dreams…what would that life had been?


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May 10, 2011

When students predict my future

Filed under: Education — Christa Allan @ 10:03 pm

Once upon a time, I taught a senior elective, semester Advanced Composition class.  Even students who clawed their way through my Advanced Placement classes where they secretly made voodoo dolls that not-so-oddly resembled me, signed on. They’d heard from their senior friends that I was human. And they trusted them.

One of the sacred rituals of the class was opening with journaling [free writing] time in response to something I’d read to them, or a word, or ideas they’d bring to class.  Somehow, one of the journal traditions that evolved was predicting where everyone would be in five years. As seniors, they were optimistic they’d be graduating from or dangerously close to graduating from college by then. So, we’d pass around journals around and share our thoughts.

Not so long ago, I unearthed my journal from the fall semester of 2004, and I found the entries from that class.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Bua9j4ycOFU/SFXkBQZ4RUI/AAAAAAAAAYU/KRueKZ9OIEE/s400/flickr-words.jpgIn no particular order, here are some of them:

1. I have no idea. Still teaching?

2. You will win the lottery and buy a mansion in the Hamptons, have a life filled with lavish parties, cool cars, and tons of former students at your beck call as your indentured servants (from all the years of torturing you).

3. You will be in Hawaii–tanning, soaking the sun and laughing at the poor ladies who are still teaching wild kids.

4. Dead. No, I’m just joking. {a note from me–fortunately, for them, these were all anonymous. . .} Still teaching or in the Bahamas.

5. You will discover your knack for Broadway performing and become a star! Then you will give all of us free, year-round passes to all of your Broadway shows.

6. You will be a retired teacher who becomes a nice old librarian who enjoys skydiving.

7. You will be an amazing aerobics instructor, you will have grown five WHOLE INCHES, and you will live on a golf course because you’ll be so darn wealthy.

8. End up hospitalized after being diagnosed with hemophilia opiatrasimplia {me again…more than likely, this is not in Webster’s},which means loss of blood, from grading AP papers. You will forever be feared by incoming freshmen who will build shrines to ward off bad grades.But, seeing that this will fail, they will just switch out of your class.

9. I think you could become a famous writer and leave our school behind. Then all the students who never got to have you will mourn their loss.

10. Making AP students cry, and Advanced Comp students cheer. You’ll win the lottery and write that novel you never got around to.

11. You’re going to decide that teaching annoying kids isn’t for you, and you’ll become a famous writer. After your 100th best seller, Hollywood will make a movie of one of your most touching novels, and Orlando Bloom will play the lead.

12. You’ll write a long, good book and live in Hawaii. You will donate all of your jewelry to me.

Kids really do say the darndest, sometimes rightest, things.

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