The following provided courtesy of Lake Superior State University, whose 2007 List of Banished Words I electronically stumbled upon during one of my web voyages—most of which, my husband would convince you, are made on the proverbial slow boat to China rather than a jet ski. The list amused me. My comments in italics. Feel free to contribute some Banished Words of your own——

1. COMBINED CELEBRITY NAMES: Bragelina, TomKat, Bennifer

2. AWESOME: Used to describe everything from tennis shoes to mops to dating services.

3. GONE/WENT MISSING: Unless there is an actual city named MISSING (and I’ll bet if there is, it’s in Texas–), where you went and then returned, one is either missing or not.

4. PWN/PWNED: Overused Internet typo (”I pwn you” rather than I OWN you). Gamer defeats gamer. (I was clueless on this one.)

5. NOW PLAYING IN THEATERS: Um, would the movie be premiering in the local dry cleaners or shoe store? (This one, for me, ranks with “Live Band Playing”–as opposed to???)

6. WE’RE PREGNANT: Not unless WE are getting contractions and delivering the baby.

7. UNDOCUMENTED ALIEN: And a drug dealer is an “undocumented street pharmaceutical salesperson”?

8. ARMED ROBBERY/DRUG DEAL GONE BAD: Was that before or after it started going good or well?

9. TRUTHINESS- ’nuff said.

10. CHIPOLTE: Before 2005, this was just a roasted jalapeno.