Why do you call things preschool names? Paul Procrastinator? It’s not cute. It’s annoying. No wonder you have trouble with students.

Christa,
I may just print this out and send it home with my students lol ! It was perfect.

I, too, have had the awful parent teacher nights or open house days where no one shows. In 15 years, now remember what program I teach, I have had five parents actually show up. I try to instill the importance of attending, some do email me, most ignore me. If you have a surefire way of attracting the parents to school (yes, I tried food and give-aways). let me know. :)
Once again, you have brought a smile and a few laughs to this person who has to go back on Tuesday YIKES!!!
jo-anne

Jo-Anne: I’ll be thinking of you on Tuesday. And knowing the program of which you speak, I understand. So far, I’ve not had much success either in attracting more parents. Sad.

Mitchell: I’m not sure about the assumptive leap that I have “trouble with students.” The few instances of which I spoke were provided by way of example. I’ve been teaching over twenty years, which means over 3,000 students have walked through my classroom doors. Trust me, I wouldn’t subject myself to that degree of torture.

I was, though, unaware that preschoolers were named Paul Procrastinator.

From a Student
———————–

1. At least for me, day one in school is all about getting your parents to buy you stuff. You want a new t-shirt? Make it seem like you need it for the first day. Cash money.

2. This is, with all due respect, one of the most ignorant comments I’ve ever read. I’m actually impressed by how upset you made me at this. You are relating the way somebody wears pants to the way somebody wants to learn? What about comfort? I wear baggy shorts all year round, because that’s comfortable to me. have a 3.5 gpa, I play sports,

The rest… in theory, good ideas. But, you are fostering a horrific parent-child relationship. With a good relationship, you should be able to have an open flow of communication with your child. Going to the open houses with the objective of finding out every quiz grade, every study habit… that’s really dirty and seems like spying. At that point, you are going over your students head, and from a psychological standpoint, that’s hurtful.

Ms. Allan, your heart is in the right place; your methods, however, are not.

Enigma 3:

1. Hope that worked for you.

2. Sorry. No way to respectfully accuse someone of being ignorant.

Clearly, you missed my point. No, I wasn’t relating the wearing of baggy points to someone’s desire to learn. If someone chooses to directly violate the dress code, that person is fully aware there will be a consequence for that choice. And if someone chooses to not follow instructions, that’s a problem. The problem is going to cause that person to lose classroom time.

Kudos on your comfy baggy shorts and 3.5 GPA. Glad that’s working for you. Let’s pretend, though, you one day work for a corporation that wants you to wear a suit. But you want to wear your baggy shorts because, after all, you can work just as well in them. What message are you sending the president of that corporation? Would you be surprised if there would be a consequence for your decision? [These are rhetorical questions.]

3. Here’s what I said about a parent attending Open House: “It’s not a night to find out Paul Procrastination’s every quiz grade. It’s an opportunity for you to be in your student’s world, sit in her desk, and look over the classroom and the teachers.”

This is your response; “Going to the open houses with the objective of finding out every quiz grade, every study habit… that’s really dirty and seems like spying. At that point, you are going over your students head, and from a psychological standpoint, that’s hurtful.”

Did you miss the “not”?
Obviously, you know me or, at least, think you do. And if you really knew me as teacher, do you honestly believe I would suggest parents attend an Open House to spy? Goodness, we’re only in the classroom six or seven minutes. Hardly enough time for espionage.

“…you are going over your students head…” Hmmm. I don’t need permission from a student to discuss grades and study habits with his/her parents, I shouldn’t have to have this discussion. Parents should have already heard this information directly from their student. [see my #7]

Have a successful school year. And don’t run with scissors.

I like the name Paul Procrastinator

I like all the names and these responses prove that people do not really read what is out there.

My god, I’m so glad that i’m neither your child nor your student. This may well be the most patronizing thing I’ve ever read, while being directed at the parents, not the kids (who you are patronizing). Quite a feat, my friend.

Dear Will:

What an amazing coincidence that your email address and your opinion of my blog post are the same.

Perhaps you missed my “rah-rah” posts where I rave about my students, perhaps not.

In any case…on this point we agree: I am also glad that you are neither my child nor my student.

Methinks these negative commenters are in their teens. As a teacher, this is the kindest, smartest thing I’ve read, not to mention a public service. Spend 10 minutes in the shoes of a teacher. We have to be the main disciplinarian, mentor, nurse, and counselor in kids’ lives. Oh, that that reality didn’t exist. I’d love to just teach!

Read the statistics and do some research. Though we say all the time, “kids today…” It is actually true for this generation–they have never been more negative (as evidenced here), more pampered, more indulged, less disciplined, and more challenged via the culture, their peers, the media, and their own upbringing.

Mrs. Allan, come to my state–they like humor. ; )
And for the record, this broad’s a heck of a teacher AND mom.

Also there is a direct correlation to going to events like open house and student success. Again, fact and research..not opinion.

I promise, last word.
Seriously.

Dear Will,

Walk a few miles (or an entire school year, for that matter) in our shoes and then judge us. Anyone who knows Christa (or a teacher like her) knows that she’s one of the most decidated, caring, generous teachers around; she wants only the best for her students. I’ve yet to meet a student who isn’t better because they were lucky enough to have her as a teacher.

My hope is that when my 4 year old daughter is old enough to be in high school that she has teachers as insightful, observant, and rigorous as Christa.

Just going to comment that Enigma3 was entirely correct. You’re saying if a teacher doesn’t like the way a student dresses, then the student should just accept it and change. The only reason it works that way is because students have no power in school systems at all. If a student wants to dress in a way that you’re not used to, you shouldn’t be putting them down and taking them out of class. You bring up workplaces with suits as an example, but if I don’t want to wear a suit, I can get a job that doesn’t require one. Students generally have no choice about their school.

You should consider that these rebellious acts are because students are stuck in a system that they have no control over, and every time they complain, they get condescending responses about how they should just accept it and it’s for their own good.

Actually, what I said has little, if anything, to do with MY like or dislikes related to what students wear. In fact, I don’t agree with some dress code stipulations, but that doesn’t relieve me from the responsiblity of upholding them.

And you’re right, you can choose to work for a corporation that doesn’t enforce a dress code. And you’re also right that students can’t always choose their schools. But the fact is…they’re there. They know the rules. Why shouldn’t students be held responsible for choosing to not follow them? Isn’t that a reflection of maturity; the willingness to accept the consequences for one’s actions?

As for students having no power, I disagree. Complaining isn’t the answer.Read CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE by Thoreau.

It’s funny how you claim to be a proponent of civil disobedience, or at least not opposed to the idea, yet completely ignore it regarding dress code violation.

I’m choosing the hill I want to die on. . .dress code isn’t one of them.

actually most schools nowadays (this is coming from a freshman in high school) have a pretty decent dress code (95% of the rules aimed at girls). most schools, including mine, need the shorts or skirt no less than 6 or 8 inches in length.

I really liked this post.

I’m a pre-service elem. ed. teacher at the moment do you have any advice (as a parent or teacher) for open houses with K5 children?

I wanted to comment because I feel like I’m straddling on this issue. I’m going to come right out and say that I am a teenager. But I’m also going to tell you I’ve always held my teachers in high respect.

I consider myself not like the average teenager. I understand the importance of professionalism and I don’t attend an average school — I go to a public fine arts high school. But lately it has begun to resemble a real public school.

The comment about it being a ‘pity’ that students don’t wear uniforms did hit me as kind of harsh, though. I don’t think uniforms are an effective way to fix any issues at school. But, dresscodes make sense. Even my loosey-goosey arts school has a basic dresscode — though it mostly consists of ‘guys, don’t wear a wifebeater. girls, don’t look like a hoochie.’ But really, think about it…. we’re kids. We manifest ourselves through clothing, it’s all part of the self-searching process of growing up. Yeah, we’re gonna screw it up sometimes. But you’ve gotta let us explore the options — it’s the only time we get to truly do so, before we know it we have to wear professional attire.

I have never understood students who get bad grades then blame their teachers, citing them as mean or hateful. Yes, in very certain circumstances, there are bad teachers, no occupation is perfect. But just because YOU have an issue with class does not mean you should blame it on the instructor. I’ve seen classmates who think teachers are ‘evil’ because the teacher tells them to be quiet it class. It can get so out of hand. So I’m definitely on your side with that one.

But your advice on how to get teenagers to talk… honestly, if a teenager reads it, they laugh. We interpret pointed questions like that as desperate attempts and will usually discredit them. Most of the time, if something is funny or important enough, we’ll bring it up. I know I almost never tell my parents about school, but when there’s something interesting, I want to talk about it and I’ll tell them about it. If parents wait until their teenagers want to talk, they’ll get a much more interesting and plentiful conversation than if they strangle answers out of them. I know it sucks, and it seems like we’ll never say a thing, but if you’re patient, we’re gonna talk. If you try and suck conversation out of us over and over, we’re just going to get annoyed and not want to talk at all.

And again, honestly? If a teenager spends 3 hours on the computer, it’s 3 hours of Facebook. Usually when they log on randomly for 5 minutes they’re going to look up something on Wikipedia for homework :P

Anna:
I appreciate your honest and insightful comments. I also appreciate that you possess the maturity to respectfully disagree.

Perhaps using the word “pity” does echo harshly, especially considering that even when students wear uniforms, I’m still not relieved of the responsibility of enforcing a dress code. Honestly, as the mother of three daughters, I welcomed uniforms because then we had one less thing to butt heads about in the wee hours before leaving for school.

I realize that the advice for opening conversations with teens may ring as dorky, clunky, and desperate. As a parent that’s often how I felt–dorky, clunky and desperate!

Since you don’t know me and since, based on some of the vituperative comments I’ve received, I’ve failed in explaining myself such that my darling and oft sassy personality shines through…I promise I wouldn’t suggest dialogue so wooden Howard Hughes would’ve used it for his airplane. Many of my students live in single parent homes or live in families with two working parents, and I doubt there’s an hour of conversation a week between them. Sometimes, even a grunt would be a beginning!

And, equally honestly, now that I’m on Facebook myself. . . three hours is a blink!

Excuse me for saying this but…

Your post has made the younger generation seem like a whole other race.

The trick is not thinking of ways to get the truth out of their homework, teachers, or report cards, the trick is more of establishing a trusting relationship between the parents and the child. Accusing a child of photocopying a report card or being unfair to a teacher can seriously damage the relationship between the child and the parent, causing distrust, and the cycle goes on.

I know this because the people I know with stiffly strict parents (ones that freak out over an 85% average) photoshops their report cards, and the people who has parents that sit down, talk to their kids about their grades, goals, plans for the next semester, don’t.

As for the dress code — all of the teenagers I know grows out of it. And when they dont, it’s for a reason. The best way to help them grow out of it is to explain the WHY better than just “you look indecent” or “Because I said so.” In fact, the “because I said so” reason(whether direct or indirect) in any form is the worst kind of reason someone can give, and this would most likely push the students to violate the rule just to piss off the administrators.

One thing that’s smack-dab on, is the computer use. That is completely true.

Usually when a student says ‘nothing happened at school’, it means ‘nothing that would interest you happened at school.’ And most of the time, they’re right.

I just want to say that I’m a student, and I liked your post =]
I didn’t want all the teens being misrepresented as idiots.

“But the fact is…they’re there. They know the rules. Why shouldn’t students be held responsible for choosing to not follow them? Isn’t that a reflection of maturity; the willingness to accept the consequences for one’s actions?”

No Christa, just no.