Certainly this is intended as a fake. This was allegedly voted unanimously by staff at Maroochydore High School in QLD for use on their telephone answering system.
While I don’t agree with some of the responses, I have to admit there are others that are spot on. Fortunately, I’m blessed this school year with supportive parents and administration. Unfortunately, not all teachers are.
Next week starts exam week. Generally, that will involve several of the following conversations:
1. What’s my average? [I teach 140+ students. If I could remember that, I'd be teaching math.]
2. What grade do I need to make on my exam to pass? [see comment above.]
3. If I make a [insert grade here], can I make a [insert grade here] for the nine weeks? [see comment #1]
4. I don’t remember you telling us this was going to be on the exam. [Usually spoken by a student who's shocked that it's exam day.]
5. Are you taking off for spelling? [Note: This is English class. Yes, I'm taking off for spelling. Would you spell the word differently if I wasn't?]
6. Um, Ms. Allan, this sentence isn’t right. [Exactly. That's why the directions for this section stated, "Write true or false for the following:"]
7. Do you have a pencil sharpener in this classroom? [No. You don't need one for the pen you're supposed to be writing with.]
8. How long does this response need to be? [50 points long. Quality gloop doesn't count.]
9. Student turns in completed exam. “Are you grading it now?” Me, peering over stacks of other exams, an assortment of make-up work, and half-empty cans of Coke Zero: “Circumstantial evidence would appear to the contrary.” Student: “I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds like a no.” Me: “Bravo. Good call on understanding ‘tone.’ “
The blessing is exam week is a four-day week for students.
