Atheist Bus Campaign

REPORTER: It’s not the sort of message one normally sees on a bus. “There’s probably no God,” announces the ad, “so stop worrying, and start enjoying life.” This atheist bus campaign is a tit-for-tat response to an evangelical ad on buses last year. Among its supporters, famous atheist Professor Richard Dawkins.

RICHARD DAWKINS: I would call it consciousness raising. Just think for yourself, that’s all. Don’t listen to what a priest tells you, don’t listen to what a mullah tells you, don’t listen to what a rabbi tells you—think for yourself.

[read the rest HERE]

[If I'm thinking for myself, then why is this ad on the bus?I'm just saying. . . ]

AND, FOR THOSE WHO’VE BEEN FOLLOWING THE CAMPAIGN:

There’s probably no bus

Thanks to THE ENGLISH BLOG for the heads up on this!

I’m no economist, but I’ve been thinking that perhaps if those of us who actually do pay taxes were allowed the “Geithner Allowance,” the money taxpayers the government is spending on the massive bailout  economic stimulus recovery plan could be reduced.

Timothy F. Geithner, the new Secretary of the Treasury made an “oops” [President Obama labeled it a "common mistake"] from 2001-2004 when, by some “oversight,” he failed to pay the IRS about $34,000.  So, if a large percentage of taxpayers were provided this tax break, even over a period of two-three years, wouldn’t that help?

And because I’m such the creative procrastinator when it comes to grading, I thought I’d browse through the bailout plan. I discovered one does not browse through 647 pages that explain spending over $800 billion dollars. By page 46, I was cross-eyed from counting commas and zeroes in money allocated.

But, for your amusement, and to justify the time I spent, I’ll share a few of the gems I found in the $817 billion package:

• $208 million has been appropriated until 2013 for the Inspectors General of various government agencies for oversight and audit of the money allocated
• $209 million for deferred maintenance at Agricultural Research Services facilities
• $245 million for salaries and expenses to maintain and modernize information technology systems at the Farm Service Agency
• $100 million to the Supplemental Nurition Program for Women, Infancts, and Children
• $100 million to Emergency Food Assistance for costs associated with the distribution of commodities
• $150 million to states to cover the administration expenses of adminstering the $100 million mentioned directly above
• $400 million to National Oceanic and Atmospheric for habitat restoration and mitigation
• $140 million for accelerating satellite development and acquisitions, acquiring climate sensors, and establishing climate data records
• $4.5 billion to the Army to improve, repair, and modernize barracks
• $400 million to NASA to develop Earth Science climate research
• $13 billion to education

The J. Peterman Company is making a comeback.

I’m thrilled.

He started the company over 22 years ago; it went bankrupt in 1999. Even if you never knew of Peterman’s company, if you’re a Seinfeld fan, you can’t forget the parody of him created by John O’Hurley.

Though he lost the name to his company as part of the business bust, he was able to get it back and now, in a twist of entertainment irony, O’Hurley is now a partner in the real Peterman business.

I’m not sure how I stumbled upon one of Peterman’s catalogs over a decade ago (seriously) but, when I did, my writer brain drooled. The creative and savvy copy accompanying the merchandise made me wonder if the company actually existed.

During the years I taught a Creative Writing class, I used his catalogs with my students. Dared them to copy the style. We verbally and surgically dissected so many catalogs that, after a few years, they looked as if they’d been target practice for kindergarten scissoring class.Hard-driving metallic rock.

A few weeks ago, I ordered a catalog from his website. The catalogs are actually called, “Owner’s Manual.” If you want to learn about tight, but imaginative writing…order one.

You won’t be disappointed. I promise. In fact, here’s an example:

The World Is Your Runway.

Flashbulbs popping.

You’re strutting your stuff along the elevated walk above the crowd.

You lift your collar, your eyes flirting out over the top.

Oohs. Aahs. The music builds.

You turn suddenly, allowing your big, bold sweater to do its swing.

Cries of “Fantastico.”

You snap it open to reveal what’s underneath, then exit for 10 Corso Como (wild applause) to hang with the fashion elite.

Why not stop reading Vogue Italia and start living it a bit?

High-Fashion Italian Sweater (No. 3051). A big, bold, marvelously comfortable thing in thick rib-knit merino wool, discovered in Milan.

Wide bell sleeves with turn-back cuffs. Decorative snap-open buttons on the front plus a real one at the collar.

You supply Cary Grant lookalike companion.

Next to your skin.

Certain things a person puts off forever. Both big and small.

Some little thing you’ve always wanted. Don’t let yourself think about it. Not now, not now. Later maybe.

Safer to push it down in your thinking. After all, you can’t just go ahead and let yourself have what you want, can you?

A leather shirt? Worn next to the skin?

Electricity entered the room.

A leather shirt gives a person (male or female) the natural, unmanufactured ritziness and effortless grace of an animal ambling along through limitless fields of high rippling grass.

An animal on modified alert. Like a weightless antelope that can go anywhere its thoughts take it.

Or like a great cat just shopping.

The simplest of things are always the best.

This is one of them.

Simple, classic Leather Shirt (No. 1138), for men and women. Shirt collar. Shirttail hem. Two reverse-pleat pockets, button flaps. Soft suede pigskin, beautiful light Brown, a color you might see somewhere along the Tana River, far from Nairobi.

A beauty.

• I’m no economist, but I’m clearly not understanding how those who don’t pay taxes receive a tax break check. That’s like giving baby furniture to a family with no children.

“On the key vote of the day, Democrats closed ranks to preserve a tax break for this year and 2010 that would mean $500 for many workers and $1,000 for millions of couples, including those whose earnings are so low that they pay no federal income tax.” from MSN

• Former Merrill Lynch exec John Thain spent $1.22 million redesigning his office when he became CEO of Merrill Lynch a year ago.

According to msnbc.com news services, the following is a list of the items in his suite:

— Area Rug: $87,784

— Mahogany Pedestal Table: $25,713

— 19th Century Credenza: $68,179

— Pendant Light Furniture: $19,751

— 4 Pairs of Curtains: $28,091

THIS IS A SIMILAR ITEM AS THE WASTE CAN LISTED BELOW

Thain paid his driver $230,000 for one year’s work, which included the driver’s $85,000 salary and bonus of $18,000, and another $128,000 in over-time pay, documents show. Drivers of top executives are often paid about half that amount.

Bank of America last week struck a deal with the government to receive an additional $20 billion in funds as part of the Treasury Department’s bank investment program. Bank of America already received an initial $25 billion as part of the program.

• The Neo-Nazis adopted a half-mile segment of road in Kansas. It took a four-year court fight for them to win the rights to pick up trash. I’m not sure why. It seems like a job for which they should be well-equipped.
• From local news: “Using a St. Louis Cardinals baseball cap and a soiled pair of boxers, authorities said they were able to connect a pair of Franklinton men to a string of robberies at Sonic Drive-Ins from Livingston Parish to Pearl River County, Miss. “ I have no other comments about this that would be fit for a G-rated blog. Well, except the issue of whether the boxers were soiled before or after the arrest.
• The classical music played at the inauguration was pre-recorded because, according to an AP news story, it was too cold for the instruments to stay in tune.
•  One industry that’s thriving in this otherwise depressed economy?Marijuana. It’s the major cash crop in Mendoceno, CA. Check the story out here.

Tuesday we watched Inauguration events for most of the day. I missed the oath  because my classroom clock is totally zonked [the second hand moves backwards], and I misjudged the time.  It’s all good, though. Thanks to the media’s obsession with finding something to obsess about, I’ve watched it three times. For, the record, I’ve changed the clock batteries several times. It’s not cooperating, but it seems to amuse my students.  And confuse them because they can’t figure out how many minutes of Allan-torture remain.

I’ve learned to not say, “Check your watch.” They laugh at my antiquated expression. Kids today don’t wear watches. They use their cell phones to check the time.

Today, in our ongoing [and mandated] lessons about the Inauguration, I handed each student a copy of President Obama’s address. After reducing and trimming,  I managed to squeeze it into three pages. Learning to be copy-thrifty is essential or else you’re back in the bookkeeper’s office writing a check for more copies to get you through the month. Hmm. Maybe there’s a bailout program for that somewhere…

I then gave them a handout which required them to find examples of ethos, pathos, logos [no, they're not the Three Musketeers' cousins], alliteration, similes, metaphors…the usual suspects of English teacher scavenger hunts. And, to meet the needs of my auditory learners [yes, wave to the Multiple Intelligences], planned the video of President Obama delivering the address. Six times.

By the end of the day, I wanted to call Jon Favreau-his chief speechwriter-and thank him for his use of short sentences and uncomplicated language. But, to use a word I sometimes write on student essays, I thought the speech had only “moments” of brillance. No mind-slapping expressions like J.F.K.’s chiasmus, “Ask not what your country can do for you. . .” or FDR’s “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” President Obama’s  “bitter swill” reminded me of acid reflux, but the address was memorable in the way of a fine dining experience. You come away with a sense of the experience more than the actual taste of the food.

What resonated for me is, “We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense. . .” I also was touched by the the quick glimpse of his daughter taking pictures during his speech.

I did learn this week that the longest Inagural Address was delivered in just under two hours by William Henry Harrison, all 8,445 words of it.  But there’s a price to pay for making everyone stand in the cold weather as you blather onandonandonandon. Harrison refused to wear a coat at his Inauguration, developed pneumonia, and died a month later. Joseph Ellis of Newsweek said Harrison was, “the shortest-lived president in American history, assassinated by his own long-windedness.”

One of my students pointed out today that, technically, Mr. Obama’s line that “Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath.” is incorrect.  Rutherford B. Hayes served two non-consecutive terms as president. So, even though the oath was said forty-four times, it was only to forty-three Americans.

Maybe we should contact Jon before he writes any more speeches.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Will Obama’s Inaugural Address Be One for the Ages?