I’m spinning plates on several new ideas for books, which mostly consists of untangling plot threads like strands of cooked spaghetti thrown in a bowl, calculating how much chocolate I have to consume to generate a brilliant beginning, and wondering if Google is tracking how many times I search.
Once the story starts looking more like Jello and less like melted ice, it’s time for my one-woman NAME THAT CHARACTER show. I’ve tried writing story lines using fill-in-the-blanks, generic s/hes, and Jane and John Doe and their friends the Smiths and the Joneses.
The compulsion to marry character and names propels me to sites like Buzz Worthy Baby Names from Inventing Matilda. A dangerously distracting diversion. It also prevents me from consulting the husband who named one of our cats Amelia (after the flying one) because she seemed to jump so high. Our new kitten, Newton, (after the Isaac, not the cookie) is so named because of his daredevil climbing and accompanying falling routines.
It would be entirely too exhausting to deliberate the relationship between names and personalities and impressions. NPR ran a story discussing if your name, specifically your initials, could change the course of your life. I suppose if your name is Ann Sue Smith that might be a story worth hearing.
Anyway…so, today, I’m cruising sites for names, and discover that Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban had a daughter; they named her Sunday Rose. I’m happy, for her sake, she was not born on Thursday. And because I was brain dead from tangled plots, I started investigating this proclivity for reckless baby-naming among celebrities.
Without comment because, really, what’s there to say, here are some of the most pretentiously bizarre names followed by their “celebrity” parent/s.
Sailor Lee Christie Brinkley
Kal-el (as in the Krypton name of Superman) Nicholas Cage
Suri Tom/Kat Cruise
Elijah Blue Cher and Greg Allman
Fifi Trixibelle Bob Geldorf
Peaches Honeyblossom
Little Pixie
Free Barbara Hershey/David Carradine
Hud (B) John Cougar Mellencamp
Justice (G)
Spec Wildhorse (B)
Poppy Honey Chef Jamie and model Jools Oliver
Daisy Boo
Reignbeau (G) Ving Rhames
Freedom (B)
Audio Science (B) Shannyn Sossamon
Apple Gwen Paltrow
Jermajesty Jermaine Jackson
Tu Morrow Rob Morrow
Ocean Forest Whittaker
Destry Steven Speilberg
Memphis Eve Bono
Pilot Inspektor Jason Lee
Lest you wonder if this was all for mindless listing. But, no. Next time I’m taking a writing break, I’m going to play THE CELEBRITY BABIES, WHAT IF THEY MARRY? game.
Like Freedom and Justice. Or Free and Tu Morrow.
Go ahead. Try one of your own.
Related posts:
- Hollywood needs a baby-naming school
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY “BABY”!
- King of the Mild Frontier gallops into my school
