Tuesday we watched Inauguration events for most of the day. I missed the oath  because my classroom clock is totally zonked [the second hand moves backwards], and I misjudged the time.  It’s all good, though. Thanks to the media’s obsession with finding something to obsess about, I’ve watched it three times. For, the record, I’ve changed the clock batteries several times. It’s not cooperating, but it seems to amuse my students.  And confuse them because they can’t figure out how many minutes of Allan-torture remain.

I’ve learned to not say, “Check your watch.” They laugh at my antiquated expression. Kids today don’t wear watches. They use their cell phones to check the time.

Today, in our ongoing [and mandated] lessons about the Inauguration, I handed each student a copy of President Obama’s address. After reducing and trimming,  I managed to squeeze it into three pages. Learning to be copy-thrifty is essential or else you’re back in the bookkeeper’s office writing a check for more copies to get you through the month. Hmm. Maybe there’s a bailout program for that somewhere…

I then gave them a handout which required them to find examples of ethos, pathos, logos [no, they're not the Three Musketeers' cousins], alliteration, similes, metaphors…the usual suspects of English teacher scavenger hunts. And, to meet the needs of my auditory learners [yes, wave to the Multiple Intelligences], planned the video of President Obama delivering the address. Six times.

By the end of the day, I wanted to call Jon Favreau-his chief speechwriter-and thank him for his use of short sentences and uncomplicated language. But, to use a word I sometimes write on student essays, I thought the speech had only “moments” of brillance. No mind-slapping expressions like J.F.K.’s chiasmus, “Ask not what your country can do for you. . .” or FDR’s “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” President Obama’s  “bitter swill” reminded me of acid reflux, but the address was memorable in the way of a fine dining experience. You come away with a sense of the experience more than the actual taste of the food.

What resonated for me is, “We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense. . .” I also was touched by the the quick glimpse of his daughter taking pictures during his speech.

I did learn this week that the longest Inagural Address was delivered in just under two hours by William Henry Harrison, all 8,445 words of it.  But there’s a price to pay for making everyone stand in the cold weather as you blather onandonandonandon. Harrison refused to wear a coat at his Inauguration, developed pneumonia, and died a month later. Joseph Ellis of Newsweek said Harrison was, “the shortest-lived president in American history, assassinated by his own long-windedness.”

One of my students pointed out today that, technically, Mr. Obama’s line that “Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath.” is incorrect.  Rutherford B. Hayes served two non-consecutive terms as president. So, even though the oath was said forty-four times, it was only to forty-three Americans.

Maybe we should contact Jon before he writes any more speeches.

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